The Kindness Movement: A Day in Review (I)

Reflecting on how we can bring a little kindness to ourselves, others and the world in the everyday.

Kindness is not a grand gesture of charity or philatrophy — kindness is a simple way of being that is inherent in all persons (for the sake of longstanding survival one could say…). It is not a skill that needs to be taught per se, rather a trait that requires nurturing of one’s inherent nature.

And yet, as we are being bombarded by messages telling us that it is wise to be kind, and leaders teaching us various skills and techniques, we forget that insight, awareness or knowledge in and of itself is…useless. For kindness is recognized in its action…and here, I repeat myself, that it does not need to be some grand gesture of charity or philantrophy; it is in the every day every moment of your life. And it is here, when we find ourselves caught up in our every day, that we forget… forget to be kind…to the most important person in our lives - ourselves.

You see…we are brought up in a society, in a culture, that places value of importance on the other — be respectful to your elders, be nice to your neighbors, be kind to strangers…; and, we are told that to think of oneself is to be “self-centered” or “selfish” — words that if directed at you makes one feel…some nuance of shame and regret.

So how is being kind to yourself NOT any of these? What makes it different?

While being kind to youself, or being seen as a narcissist, make look completely the same to an uninformed observer… it will feel completely different for YOU the individual. Being kind to yourself involves an awareness and acceptance of who you are as an individual in the moment (things can change depending on the circumstances)…and, for some circumstances, an acknowledgement of the other person(s) who may be involved. This is contrary to a person whose ego is in charge…s/he does not take into consideration the reasons behind the action nor does s/he contemplate its implication(s) for the other person(s). Similarly, when being kind to oneself, you do not simply give into the whims and fancy of the other person…kindness is more about compromise and working with the situation at hand rather than giving into oneself or the other person.