Cheating fantasies seem to be reasonably popular among both men and women, although in this category we cannot break out whether the interest is in cheating on a partner, being cheated on, or being the “other man” or “other woman”.
We can get a more fine grained sense of what people fantasize about by looking at the data for cuckolding/cuckqueaning, however this fantasy can include aspects that are over and above simple “cheating”, for instance humiliation and dominance/submission play.
Women tend to be interested in cuckolding their partner and being cuckqueaned themselves in roughly equal measure, which is to say that there is a significant proportion of women not at all interested, and a fair even split among the remaining categories for both fantasies.
Men, on the other hand, show a clear preference for cuckqeaning their partner which might be surprising given the anecdotal popularity of cuckolding fetishes and porn. We actually see a far lower proportion of men interested in being cuckolded than we do women interested in being cuckqueaned.
Given this, it is perhaps not surprising that women are slightly more interested in cuckolding their partner than men are in being cuckolded.
Consistent with the above trends, we find that men are slightly more interested in cuckqueaning their partner than women are in being cuckqueaned, although both the difference and the absolute values for men and women are higher than for the cuckolding scenario.
When it comes to watersports, the distributions are reasonably similar, with women displaying a slightly higher interest than men (although the majority of men and women are not interested). From previous interest in dominant and submissive roles between men and women, we can probably assume that most of the women are interested in a submissive (receptive) role while most of the men are interested in a dominant role, although there is probably some interest among men in the receptive role as well.
Scat, on the other hand, is a hard no for most people. There are very few people willing to even consider it, with the vast majority of men and women ruling it out completely. This is unsurprising given the frequency with which this activity appears on lists of hard limits for both men and women.
In fact, of the “fluids” category, the only one to break above three is Cum Play, which is equally very popular among both men and women.
Of the remaining “fluids” categories, Diapers are very unpopular among both men and women (potentially due to their overlap with scat and a general distaste among parents for anything additional to do with diapers). Lactation is equally interesting to men and women, who are largely ambivalent about it, while blood is very unpopular among both men and women.
Although being among the fetishes generally perceived as socially unacceptable, Incest is perhaps surprisingly popular among both men and women. Although there is a significant proportion of the population for whom this fetish is a “No’, there is a far larger population who rank this as either “Like” of ‘Favorite” reflecting a broad interest in incest as a fantasy. Again, here we might distinguish between “harder” incest (parent/child, siblings) and a softer form, for example cousins), although anecdotally the parent/child roles seem to be popular.
Ageplay is of equal interest to both men and women on average, although women’s opinions seem a little more mixed. Overall, this kink seems quite popular, although we cannot be sure of the roles that people had in mind. Given the dominance/submission role bias and broader social trends, we might assume that men are interested in younger women, while women might be interested in older men.
Likewise, race play is quite popular, equally so between men and women.
Foot play has been, in popular culture, the sort of paradigmatic “weird” fetish. In reality, it’s not particularly popular among both men and women, either to give or receive.
Impregnation is another fetish where, given the underlying gender dynamics, you might expect to find a stark difference between men and women. To some extent, you find that women are slightly more interested than men in this fetish, but that obscures the point that neither men nor women are particularly interested in impregnation.
Rape fantasies are a particularly difficult corner of the fetish landscape. In fact, a large part of the inspiration for this project was to answer the question of how popular rape fantasies are among men and women. Interest in rape fantasies among women have been discussed at length in both the popular and academic press.
The fantasy of being raped is quite popular in this dataset among women. Consistent with their general interest in submissive roles, women are far more interested in being the subject in a rape fantasy than the perpetrator
Men, however, show an interesting distribution. While they are, consistent wit ha general preference for the dominant role, more interested in being the perpetrator in a dominant role, interest in this is mixed, presumably due to the strong social prohibition on rape. Even more interesting, perhaps, is their significant level of interest in themselves being the subject of a rape fantasy, almost approaching their interest in being the perpetrator. While it is probable given their lack of interest in a homosexual encounter that their interest is in being raped by a woman, it is intriguing to speculate that perhaps, in the context of an already transgressive and inherently submissive role, at least some of these men may be interested in rape by a male assailant.
Finally, comparing the interest in rape fantasies among men where men we find that women are significantly more interested in a rape fantasy where they are the subject than men are interested in a rape fantasy where they are the perpetrator. This is consistent with a general social pressure against rape. I would be remiss here if I did not reiterate the warning that opened this project, that we are discussing fantasies only here, and this must not taken as a proxy for real-life desires.
