ON MY WAY FROM LOST
I decided to quit,
All the things I thought wouldn’t make meaning to me; Medicine, Relationships, Certainty, Love.
And for a good while I could breathe, free from those things that choked me.
It felt liberating to throw down all that weight initially, but days turn to weeks, weeks to months & my choices still haunt me, the voices taunt me, they wouldn’t let go, “don’t be stupid, how can you leave all for uncertainty”.
They scream so loudly they almost break me; her face, her smile & all the beautiful moments we shared still play vividly in my head.
The medical exams are days away, better not let this chance by,
You think you’re so wise now that this new path wouldn’t fail?
They scream… so loudly they echo in my dreams… but,
I, drowning in the cacophony of my fears: am not afraid. These voices only are here to spur me on, to become a spartan, a warrior that fights for a future he believes in. These voices want me to be better, all I hear is “you’ve taken a rough path so be damn sure you come out better.”
And I “will”, I say that with unshakable confidence
To be honest, I’m on my knees praying this risk pays off, I have no clear path to my future just an end-game I hold constantly in thoughts, in spite of my fears I know that the future is bigger, better, greater.
And I’m just about to scratch the surface