12 Things That Every Guy with Apple’s GarageBand Music Software Says

I’m about to lay down some sick beats… I don’t know, I guess you could call it a “gift.”
  • “I’m a producer.”
  • “Are you looking for a producer? Let me know — I’m a producer.”
  • “Man, I love the studio. I sleep in the studio. No, seriously. I mean it. I literally sleep there. In my bedroom. Where my studio is.”
  • “Self-taught, no lessons. I play all my own instruments… Well, I mean I play all the keyboard parts… I mean, I press buttons on my laptop and sound comes out. But I choose the sounds!
  • “I was up late last night working on a siiiick piano loop.”
  • “I can work in any genre, but I keep things simple, as in: 4/4 time and 120 beats-per-minute on every song always.”
  • “Really, though. If you’re looking for a producer, please let me know — I’m a producer.”
  • “Hear that? That’s a little something called ‘Reverb.’ It’s a production trick that professionals use.”
  • “Yeah I got my own studio. So if you’re looking for some studio time, tell me, and I’ll make sure my mom is out of the house for an hour or two.”
  • “I’m thinking about getting a job at Guitar Center, just to meet contacts and possibly get a few clients, until I get a record deal.”
  • “What’s up? Oh, sorry. I thought I heard you say you’re ‘looking for beats.’ I misheard you I guess. Mix up. My bad. See, I actually make my own beats and I thought you said you were looking for some beats and… Hey wait where are you going!?
  • “Sorry, I can’t remember: Did I mention I’m a producer?”
The work of a musical genius. Drag and drop, baby!
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