How to Use Writing as a Tool for Self-Love + 10 Trauma-Informed Journaling Prompts

There is something specific and special about writing or journaling that draws attention to the therapeutic qualities of it. Writing is a powerful tool that we can all use and learn from. It doesn’t have to be a chore or a dreaded task that we force ourselves to do. Rather, it can be meaningful, deeply personal, and ultimately healing.

Lately I have used writing as a platform for expressing my emotions and vulnerabilities. Guess what? It is a phenomenal source of creativity and healing! When I experience a difficult emotion or when I have a rough day, I write a love letter to myself. I have realized that venting frustrations to other people is only so helpful. I have a hard day, so I call my mom or a friend to talk it over, but that only goes so far. Their feedback, validating or not, only does so much to alleviate the suffering of my emotional storm. The person I really need to hear from is myself, my inner voice. I need to hear my voice in order to understand and move through difficult emotions. I am not talking about the analyzing, judgmental voice that fuels the emotion. I am referring to the inner voice that sits quietly behind the critical voice until a light of awareness is shone on it to allow it to speak.

Let that voice come through, and let it coach you.

This past week has been particularly challenging for me. As many of you know, I work at a psychiatric hospital, and I live with nerve damage that continues to affect my mobility. While my autoimmune disease is in remission (and has been for two years), my nerves are still slowly but surely healing themselves. This past week, I had to take a mandatory training at work that involves instruction in safe containment strategies for patients that may escalate to a degree in which they pose a threat to harm themselves or others. The training requires practicing a “take-down” and “taking a patient to the wall.” I don’t think I need to elaborate on how potentially difficult these practices might be for anyone with physical limitations or trauma in general.

So what did I do? I advocated for myself. Unfortunately, I had to do it in front of the entire group, a collection of my co-workers, whom I would rather not disclose personal medical information to. Nonetheless, I felt that an explanation was warranted, as my disability is not always visibly obvious. The point is, I felt the need to explain myself, and it left me feeling humiliated and ashamed of my lack of ability. Yes, I admit it. I was ashamed of my illness. I spent the lunch hour crying in my car. The next day, still suffering the emotional pain of the incident, I wrote myself a love letter.

Here goes.

Dear Kirstin,

First of all, I know it has been a rough week for you. I know that your routine was thrown off by required work trainings and that you feel dysregulated and hyper-emotional. To get straight to the real issue at stake, I know how shameful and awful you felt when you felt like you had no other option but to share your physical limitations with co-workers. That was extremely hard to do, and it felt really sad and frustrating. Most of all, it felt shameful and embarrassing. It seemed as though, just as you begin to feel like you’ve got this self-love bit down, shame slams you to the ground and makes you beg for mercy. I don’t know why it keeps returning, but I do know this: you have to keep going.

You have to press on and plow through all of the ugliness inside of you. You have to see the good, learn the lesson, and let go of what no longer serves you. You cannot give up on your mission to heal. You cannot succumb to the shame, the sadness, the anger, or the resentment. Those emotions are not who you are.

You are brave and strong. Vulnerability like that– raw, real exposure of your deepest, most shameful emotions– takes great courage. It takes strength beyond measure. I know you felt incredibly weak and raw when you had to sit out on the physical aspects of the training. I also know that you were the strongest person in the room. That is not an exaggeration.

You advocated for yourself. You made a choice, and you listened to your body and intuition. You felt deeply saddened and ashamed, but that is ok. I know it was challenging, and you felt defeated. Get back up.

People need you. YOU need you. Only you can pull yourself up. Not your boyfriend. Not your mother or your siblings or your friends or co-workers. You.

You know best how to care for yourself. Show some compassion for your amazing self. You know you deserve it. Give yourself the gift of self love, and never let it go.

I love you so much. I promise you that I will always love you, and I am always here for you. Three things you can do to love yourself more today (other than write this love letter):

1. Take your sweet time with everything you do. There is no rush. There is no next. There is no tomorrow. There is only now. Be here now.
2. Give yourself a gift. It doesn’t matter what it is. You know what you love most. Give yourself a bubble bath, aromatherapy, a hair cut, a journal, simplicity, a moment of silence. You know what you need. Don’t hold back on this one.
3. Go to sleep early. For real this time. Lie in bed at 8:30, and aim to be asleep by 9PM. You will thank yourself tomorrow, and you will feel energized and refreshed.

Keep in mind that your emotions are exposing areas of your life that need healing with your love and attention. I’m so proud of you for everything you are.

Love,
Kirstin

Bottom Line:

The takeaway here is that writing is healing, and it is a modality for self-compassion if you choose to use it as a tool for showing yourself some love and validation. Others can validate you over and over again. They can throw affirmations and compliments at you, tell you it’s okay, reassure you that you are a wonderful person experiencing a difficult emotion. But YOUR affirmations, YOUR validations, YOUR words of compassion and comfort are far more powerful and healing.

I encourage you to write about what you are feeling and experiencing, especially when it feels hardest to do so. There are so many different ways to write that can help with the pain and frustration you may be feeling: bulleted lists, journaling, talk to text apps, poetry, short stories, or even letters to yourself.

If you give it a go, let us know how it went.

In the meantime, here are 10 trauma-informed writing prompts to get you started with journaling for emotional intelligence and healing.

1. What are you waiting for? Are you in a rush to get there? Why or why not?
2. What do you most need to learn? What can your symptoms teach you?
3. What is your purpose for being where you are, in this moment?
4. What parts of yourself do you readily reveal to others? What parts do you hide?
5. What masks do you wear and which ones have you thrown away?
6. What is the easiest step you can take toward healing? What can you do today?
7. What are your guidelines for living well?
8. Do you have what you want? More importantly, do you want what you have?
9. What emotions lie deep beneath the physical messages (i.e. aches, pains, symptoms) of your body?
10. Where do you feel emotion in the body? Name it and describe it from an observer’s point of view, without criticism or judgment.