I only feel guilty when I describe the hurts I’ve suffered to someone who had — by all rational and subjective standards — a childhood that was so much worse than mine. Because I have truly had a nice, loving home. But even in a nice, loving home people get hurt and lessons have to be learned. And I do feel it’s important to share what I’ve learned. So I set aside the guilt (‘who are you to be talking about this?’) and tell my story.

As for wanting your pain, or keeping it… Just my two cents: sometimes pain is the only way you can actually feel anything. It stands in for other emotions. Sometimes pain is just familiar and we hate giving up what we know. Sometimes we feel we don’t deserve to let go of what is hurting us. But reading you shark story: I do think it’s important to first feel the pain and embrace it. You can’t transform what you refuse to acknowledge.