My Views on Polygamy
Why I can’t even dream of having more than one wife
I come from a humble family. My father is a hard worker who has taught me the values of hard work, humility and persistence. He has only married once in his life and he calls us, his children, the perfect gift from God. My father loves my mother very much. They often sit together watching the local news and cracking jokes with each other. My father, though distant, loves us very much as well. He has never been as close to us as our mother, but he takes the time to keep us on the straight and narrow.
I cannot imagine what growing up in a polygamous family would have been like. Surely in such a situation, bitterness would eat at the heart of the household. Being brought up in a monogamous family has helped me keep on the straight and narrow. Life could not be peaceful for the husband. My father has only one wife and I feel blessed that I come from such a family background. I pray to Allah that my wife will also come from such a family background.
People often fall back on the argument that Islam allows a man to have four wives at one time, but there is a clause that is always ignored. The Quran says that you may marry two, three or even four women, but if you cannot be just to them all, then marry just one. And later in the same chapter it says that you will never be able to achieve this level of fairness to women. The implication is clear: the Quran advocates one wife, not four.
Undoubtedly there are sometimes unusual circumstances — such as war — in which the number of women exceeds the number of men. To ensure that someone takes care of war widows, Muslim men are allowed to marry more than one wife. Islam is not merely a system of beliefs and rituals. It guides the community in all the daily activities of life, even in areas such as punctuality, personal cleanliness and protecting the environment.
By shaping our way of life, Islam maintains balance and a well-ordered society. Yet, ironically, it is those who claim to be religiously educated who tend to marry more than one woman. Generally communities are made up of equal numbers of men and women and if a man takes more than one wife, then it would presumably deprive others of spouses. It hits at the heart of society’s equilibrium.
By no means am I saying that monogamous marriages are perfect. In practice, disagreements cannot be avoided but they should not cause any break-up in husband-wife relations. Mutual regard and good humor can preserve a marriage. To be happy, one must learn to make compromises with grace.
