(166) Halloween Fail
I realized this morning that Halloween is just over a week away, and I have done zero to prepare for it.
Ok, so that’s obviously a lie because Halloween is one of the best reoccurring things that’s ever happened, right up there with sex, food, and wifi, and that means the second it’s over, I am already planning for next year. I had most of my costume purchased and assembled six months ago. (Tree fairy! Or wood nymph. I’m fuzzy on whether or not I’ve decided to distinguish between the two. I have wings made of branches. It’s fucking amazing.)
The problem, as you may have already gleaned, is my costumes tend to be…a little involved.
There’s also the issue of food.
But this year, instead of a big, reasonably ’adult’ Halloween party where I can stand, politely drunk, and prideful of my outfit and food contributions, I think our weekend will be barhopping and haunted houses. Which, ok, my costume plan isn’t going to work because delicate and involved and I’m not traipsing about town completely plastered whilst in a getup that I obsessed over for months just so some underpaid corn syrup drenched clown can lunge at me with a plastic butcher knife.
I need a new plan.
I have no new plan. I have zero easy costumes anywhere in this house.
I don’t even have a damn cowboy hat even though I clearly should for reasons that have zero to do with Halloween. (I would wear a cowboy hat just casual style to the store. You shush. Your face is a hat.)
I could maybe be a pirate.
*looks balefully at the sea of disappointment that is every costume deity in the history of shenanigans