(182) Should’ve

I should have written this earlier. I should have written when I was merely nervous. I should have moved to Florida for that bullshit job that meant nothing to me but would have put me in a state where a little more yelling could have made a big difference. I should have never been born because apparently preexisting conditions aren’t important enough to address in any constructive way. I should have been louder about the uselessness of people who don’t vote and people who vote third party in swing states. I should have been more aware of the insidious, self righteous belligerence of white men and the white women who skip merrily behind them. I should have retired hope. I should have indulged my cynicism. I should have been angrier and meaner and harsher to people who rawked their weakly founded opinions like disagreement was the same sort of oppression as getting shot with a toy gun. I should have been been less patient with people who just I dunno didn’t really believe in big government/fuck your health tho bc mine’s fine/bootstraps/I earned this all on my own. I should have listened when my mom said ‘I love your passion, but hate will cut you in ways you don’t understand yet.’

I should have believed people when they told me who they were.