(187) Acknowledging Abuse

There has been a lot of stuff floating around since Armageddon oops haha I mean the last presidential electiuuuuuuugggh sorry my will power is vomiting hang on.

So, there has been a lot of stuff floating around. Like, here are good places to donate to, specifically black-run ones (YES). Here are organizations for people that are really vulnerable now (YES 100%). Here are marches and protests and meetings that you can be a part of (YES YES — a lot of these have already happened; marches and protests are kind of hard to find unless you’re really keyed into a lot of sources, PSA; I don’t get much prior notice for these, but do the keying in so that when you find a local one, you can GO TO IT YES YES).

Here are some theoretical discussions about a safety pin.

I’m not linking. Because no.

Wear the pin or don’t.

Here’s the thing.

I have been in a very scant few situations where I have had the opportunity to stand up, but didn’t. Somehow, in each case, the tallies were me losing my job versus me standing up for someone getting diminished. And I chose my job. (So, facts, this happened once. I’m not proud. I remember that incident in slow motion every. day. The other time it wasn’t my job at stake; it was me being utterly unaware that anything was even happening. WORSE.)

I have been in situations where people who could have stood up for me, with little to no risk to themselves, chose not to. In most cases, it resulted in me being verbally harassed and physically intimidated. Mostly for race, but also for gender.

In one case, it involved me being sexually assaulted. 
By my endocrinologist.

When I was twelve.

*I didn’t report it. I didn’t tell anyone until a few years ago. I was not raped. If you have any judgment whatsoever for me regarding this, please fuck yourself right off the planet and into the jizzless abandon of space. Thanks in advance for fucking off.

When you, in your privilege, discuss the merits of a safety pin, while the rest of us fight bloody knuckled and nearly fey for our sanity, our humanity, and our very lives with or without the prior two, you are very literally agonizing over whether or not you absolutely have to be ready for the possibility of violence because you chose to wear a safety pin.

Don’t wear the fucking pin, then, ok. Don’t wear it.

Stand UP. No one gives an actual shit if you’re wearing a pin while you do it. But, if you are, and you don’t, you might as well have voted for Trump. #notallwhitepeople amirite?