I related so much to your post, KimBoo; hope is a slippery snail for me. I find that if am hoping for things in a gradual sort of lacking detail way, then the sentiment can help me feel marginally better about whatever is currently frustrating. I also feel hope in constructive ways when I have found a tool or method that is actively helping me improve (I’m thinking in terms of practice both in relationships and with music/writing), but this is different because it is an informed hope that is wrapped up in my experience and my efforts alone. Aaaaaand even these two types are tricky!! They slip so easily into things that I cannot sway and outcomes that deflect onus from where I am right now. UGH. ok I had a point. This is what I get for typing before coffee. Fml.
Whatever, I so felt this post. Thank you, KimBoo!