Ok so that last example gave me hives bc TOO REAL AUGH.

So, I think you made such a fantastic distinction re projection. I think we might be looking at two entirely different types of projection, one with the possibility of being gaslighting depending on delivery/purpose (like you mentioned re motivation), and the other almost always being a form of gaslighting. I think the first one, where someone takes an aspect of their character and projects it onto someone else, could have a variety of different reasons behind it, one of them being a simple misunderstanding, and another being outright gaslighting. The second one, where the person accuses you of doing to them what they just did to you, is (to me, obvs) gaslighting in strict form in that it is twisting your feelings actual events to fit their control needs. It may or may not be projection, but I’m totally down with the interpretation that it is.

What do you lovelies think?