What if…

Do you know what it feels like to be in a dark space to the point that you don’t ever think you will see the light. You forgot what true happiness is and the warmth you once felt is not there anymore, it just does not exist to you anymore. You even question yourself to ask if you were actually happy and it wasn’t just an illusion you created in your head.. What if you thought you were happy but you were covering up everything in your mind for your own sanity? Do you know what it means when you’ve been crying all night and all day and you are now laying on your shower floor crying, asking yourself questions and you start creating your own answers and you’re the only person who can get you up from that shower floor as tears and shower water mix down the drain sometimes even mascara if you were wearing that… What about giving up eating because you didn’t feel pretty enough, or because you lost your appetite to live.. Here is my favorite what if you started creating friends with benefits because you wanted a guy to fall for you so that you can hurt them to make them feel how the guy who broke your heart made you feel, but you end up cutting them off because in your heart you know they don’t deserve that, so you leave them alone but you still keep in contact with them but that’s it.. what if you based your whole life around someone and had to start all over for you.. What if I told you this girl is me.

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