I thought your essay was pretty smart right up to the very end.
Jake Brodsky
61

Ok, I follow you — I would say though that the reason young men are struggling is because patriarchy is hurting them, still. They can both benefit from it and be harmed by it, you know?

What I’d like to see is people (men included) both encouraging communication and practicing good listening skills. I think men need encouragement to be safe being vulnerable, and I think other men need to encourage that by valuing that vulnerability. I mean hell I think everyone really needs help feeling safe being vulnerable! I strongly believe a lot of toxic masculinity stems from fear — fear of losing face, fear of being hurt, fear of what it means to not be alpha, to not get the girl, to not get the money. As men still socially have a lot of the power and privilege, it’s up to them to reassure other men that it’s safe to not be in control by demonstrating that.

I think that with more understanding of trans and nonbinary identities, we’re actually moving towards having a lot of vital discussions about what makes up masculinity and femininity, and we’re getting to a place where we realize that binary gender is a social construct that we maybe don’t even really need. I believe that’s a huge part of what we need for ripping down patriarchy, because it will destabilize the core tenant of maleness. There’s some great writing on deconstructing/reconstructing a healthier masculinity and I recommend googling for it!

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