Drugs Flying Over the Wall, Along with My Sanity

There’s no point in being a fiction writer anymore. All the crazy things you can concoct have been claimed by Trump. No, really. Don’t bother trying to one-up the man. No one else could have come up with “We need a border wall that’s got solar panels! Oh, and it needs to be transparent because of all the drugs flying over the wall. Look out, my totally real friend named Jim!”

This isn’t farce or satire. This concept really came from Trump. Here’s a link that contains his offical statement. (I actually paused for half a second. “Is Wired the best source? Is it too left-leaning to use? What if someone thinks I’m just reading lefty nonsense?” But screw that. The words are real and can be found anywhere.)

This is like second grade, where we’d tear out a sheet of paper from our spiral notebooks and design our own forts or bases in imaginary scenarios. “I’ll have velociraptors patrolling the corridors! And there’s a moat of lava out front! And there’ll be laser guns all over the towers! The conveyor belt will have buzz saws on it and dump them into a pit of fire ants!”

Man, my fort would’ve been awesome. Totally unrealistic, but awesome. But that’s the thing: my nonsense was from 25 years ago, when I was a kid. Trump actually believes what he says, and he’s in the most powerful position in the country.

When does it reach the point where we get to take him out of the Oval Office and put him in a padded room? What has to fly over the wall for that to happen?

Sorry, friend Jim. If throwing you over the wall starts the impeachment process, I’m getting the catapult.

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