We sit in silence. Like two strangers attempting to navigate the same space. It’s uncomfortable. Each breath radiates the walls as a reminder that I am not alone. Yet at the same time, I am.
You are so hauntingly distant. I thought a surprise visit to the beach house would give us a reprieve. Instead, it unveils the gap between us.
With all the time you spend here, I would at least expect a glimmer, a spark, an ignition — anything. I came all this way to see you.
My thoughts twirl around like rapid fire while the stillness around me begins to suffocate.
I watch him get up and pour a drink. I wait in anticipation to see whether or not he offers me one too. My heart slumps when he returns back to the worn leather seat. He sits with focused movement, leaning back and letting out a sigh.
“I didn’t want it to come to this” he murmurs.
I pretend to not hear him, leaving the quietness to permeate the air. It’s better that way; I am too tired for a fight.
He pounds back the whiskey and reaches for another. I watch him struggle to get out of the recliner as if it had already enveloped him.
This time he stands as the liquor shoots straight down his throat. There’s a few more. By now, I have lost count.
As he stagers back to his designate space, I get up to venture around.
Again, there is mumbling churning from his mouth. The words are inaudible and by this point, I don’t give a shit.
The wind rustles through the windows, gracing my body as it moves. There is a creek around the corner — an opening. l follow the sound and notice the basement door ajar.
He never leaves its open.
I glance behind me and see him passed out on the chair. I discreetly step forward. My heart races and thumps loudly inside my body. I feel the fear rising and I am unsure of why. It’s unsettling. A warning of an imminent danger.
And there I was, in front of the unknown. I slide my hand against the frame and slowly open to the tumbling stairs before me. It’s pitch-black and I scramble my shivering hand against the wall, looking for a flicker of light.
Groans escape from the deep below. It sets my hair on end. But I find the light and continue downwards.
The sounds get louder with each step and now it comes with a rattle. I hold my balance against the cool concrete wall. I am terrified but too curious not to turn around.
I reach the bottom and silence ensues.
A mask with two piercing eyes stares at me. Leather wraps its body and chains weigh heavy around the ankles and wrists as it reaches out towards me.
I stare, unable to move, unable to fixate on anything else.
A gimp.
A fucking gimp.
I hear the crack just before my world blackens. My body, heavy and limp, hits the floor. I don’t know for how long I have been out, but I feel the warmth of blood trickling down my face. I try to move but its large hands are wrapped around my throat keeping me in place.
I glance upwards and see you. You’re standing there with a contorted smile creeping across your face. A sudden flash renders me blind. The click of camera, the printing of a polaroid.
I watch you pull out an old album. You sift through pages of photos before stopping. You stare longingly at my photo before placing it amidst your trophies.
“I didn’t want it to come to this” he repeats.
I no longer recognize the man standing before me. I feel the fingers tighten as I gasp for air. My body thrashes in survival but the gimp towers above me. I catch its emerald green eyes.
Please I choke out.
I struggle looking towards you. This isn’t how I end. This isn’t how we end.
Before my last breath, I whisper, I love you and await my finality.
The grip releases. I gasp for air. It burns and tears my throat. I hear you screaming, the thudding of kicks.
The gimp, cowering with tears streaming down its face.
I push myself off the floor, still grasping for air, yet stumble and fall. I get up again, this time stronger. I rub my eyes, hoping it will adjust my perception, I just want to see.
I flail my arms in front of me as the room comes into focus. My whole being wrenching in pain.
You tried to murder me. As if your poison could not bring a demise fast enough.
The familiar footsteps draw near. The deep breathes. Your cologne.
I run, skipping steps, with an adrenaline coursing through my veins. I move without thought. Keys in pocket. Car outside.
I have to make it.
Then, like an invisible force, your voice stops me. Paralyzed, I stand until your hand reaches my shoulder. I melt in your arms.
You hold me in the doorway. The lights drawn out. In the moment I reveal in your touch. The sound of your beating heart. My head against your chest.
I close my eyes.
I understood it was over.
