Keep people that criticize you.

It seems better to surround yourself with people that like everything you do.

But, in the longterm, you will suffer.

This is an hard problem to solve. Even if you are are vigilant and asking for feedback and criticism often the people around you will temper their words to be nice.

On the other hand, just because someone agrees with you verbally doesn’t mean that they actually have criticism but aren’t sharing it.

You can’t just get rid of everyone that agrees with you.

There needs to be a balance.

A way to find the people that agree when you are correct and voice their opinion when you are incorrect.

This means finding people that:

1. You an relate to. Everyone wants to talk to celebrities and have them as friends. The truth is you need to find people that are about your equal in intellectual capacity and socio-economic status. You can shoot a little higher than yourself, but you need to also be able to add something to their lives. Otherwise there is no mutual benefit.

2. Have different opinions. People that will disagree with you. People that have their own passions and who are pushing projects forward. Whether that is their career, their family or their hobbies.

3. But not so different opinions. Their opinions need to be close to yours. If you find people with completely different passions, completely different opinion, you will have nothing in common. And no reason to spend time together.

Then you talk to them. Tell them what you’re doing. Ask them what they’re doing. In the gap you will find ideas that will help you and they will find ideas that will help them.

How do you walk this line?

^Day 149/90 298 words

I write daily on personal effectiveness and behavioral economics. Follow me to get a new thought every day.