I Was an Adult Victim of Child Molestation

When I was 11 years old, my Great Great Grandfather and Great Great Grandmother came to live with us. My blood relation was to my Great Great Grandmother. Grandpa Jimmy was her husband.

Every night, after supper, my Great Great Grandfather (Jimmy), ordered me to come sit on his lap. Because I was taught to trust my family and obey my elders, I did what I was told. As I sat on Grandpa Jimmy’s lap and he proceeded to fondle and penetrate me.

Finally, I went to my mother and told her Grandpa Jimmy was “touching” me. She asked how. I told her he was making me sit on his lap every night after supper. Mother said if I didn’t like sitting on Grandpa Jimmy’s lap I should go to bed. So, every night for 2 years, I sat on Grandpa Jimmy’s lap for a few minutes after supper. Then, around 6PM, I went to bed.

I’m resentful because Grandpa Jimmy robbed me of numerous hours of my childhood. My childhood when I could have been outside playing Kick the Can or Stick Ball with the other neighborhood kids.

As an adult, I explained to my mother that Grandpa Jimmy molested me when I was as a child. At first, Mother was incredulous and shocked. But, soon (I mean within minutes) she became defensive. It was MY fault Grandpa Jimmy touched me. I should have refused to sit on his lap. And furthermore, it was really not a big deal because Grandpa Jimmy was crazy. Everyone knew that. Besides, I grew up to be a healthy adult in spite of it all. So, no harm, no foul.

What Mother doesn’t understand is that I need her to be in my court. I get it that she didn’t understand my plea as a child. I wasn’t able to clearly, concisely, and plainly express myself at 11 years old. However, as an adult, when I tell my mother I was in no uncertain terms, molested by a relative under her roof, as a child, I expect (and deserve) remorse on her part. No…more than that…I NEED her to be on my side. Tell me she’s sorry. Tell me she regrets not understanding at the time. Hold me in her loving and protective arms and show me the little girl that was hurt was right to feel the way she did.

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