Doubts.

We get caught in the spark of our sadness, to watch it slowly burn into a wildfire later.

Sometimes I suppose I am happy.

When Im with my friends, throwing my head back and covering my mouth. As I shake with laughter to a joke someone just made, trying to forget. The nights turn to days and the days turn to nights and my carefree grin turns in to an unexplainable sadness. And I lay in bed, thinking about the things I should do, or the things I left unsaid. All the things that I am too afraid to admit.

Its these 24 hours that I realize. I am many things.My mind is a terrifying place and my thoughts are dangerous and I should not be left alone with them.

I see the world as an ocean. A tidal wave.

Going up and down. It sometimes has force to asure me that I can soar to fantastic heights.

And if you catch me during the right time of day, you will be able to see my emotions spread out like lost sea shells on a bay. I usually end up washing them away before anyone has the chance to see them. Though it can be powerful and sometimes calm, I still find a way to come crashing back down into the surface.

I bury gardens of eden into writing. And I wish that maybe someday, someone, will actually listen. But then, I crumple the peice of paper and toss it away like my swallowed words.

I am told to smile more, when they put a frown on my face. I am told to stand up straight, when I cannot get my slightest thoughts straight. I am told to socialize more, when they decide to lock my up in a chamber of 4 walls pushing the weights of the world down on me.

I am told to be myself, but not like that.

My life is sugar, if i touch it, it will crumple and spill. But, i should not be afraid to stick my tongue out and taste its sweetness everyonce in a little while.

And, I am curious.

I am marvelous.

I am an ocean of secrets.

I am a creator.

I am scared.

I am anxious.

I don’t know who I am.

But, I am me.