So it’s interesting — the way in which life evolves. When I was younger I thought that learning meant obtaining more knowledge. As I grew older, I realized that it’s not the amount of subject matter that you obtain which makes you more aware and intelligent — but the experiences which make you grow and expand as a human being.

Intelligence = Expansion.

I grew up in a small, rural town. I didn’t have an older brother or sister and had very little guidance growing up. At the time I did everything I could to try and blend in. I did this very unsuccessfully. I didn’t have the expensive popular clothes, the snobbish attitude, or the heart to break down other people to build myself up. Thus, I was walked over like a doormat. The only true friend I had growing up had written me a note saying that she could no longer be my friend because her other friends didn’t think I was popular. This was my biggest heartbreak. I realized then, that something is so terribly wrong with this world. I was a great friend — I never told secrets, and I was more faithful than most. I was lost and confused. Spending most of my adolescent life trying to blend in and never truly being accepted.

It makes sense now. I was spending my life becoming someone that I wasn’t. How could anyone take me seriously? Behind the facade hiding what I considered to be imperfections of my true-self. It took me a long time realize that the best version of me is ME.

It’s interesting though. How one determines who they truly are. Aren’t we all just a product of our environment? One could distinctively state that they are an avid football fan, IPA connoisseur, and horror-film fanatic. But why? Did they grow up watching football? Did their Father introduce them to sports at a young age? It’s been proven that most children mirror the interests of their parents at some point. So then aren’t they just mirror imaging their role-models based on their interests and so on?

Once you strip yourself of everything you’ve been introduced to — only then — are you able to look deep within and determine who you really are. And I don’t mean food interests, or hobbies specifically. I mean thought patterns and habitual occurrences. Depression typically mirror ones inner-self not going in the direction it should be. Not following your path of “self”. Sure, depression could be linked to one of many things but at the root of it all — it is simply your inner guidance system telling you that you’re on the wrong path and you need to make changes to satiate your true desires.

I didn’t know this for a long time. I thought depression was a result of condition. “I’m not happy so therefore I’m depressed.” I accepted this to be the case. Never questioning and just surviving within the limitations of my mind.

Then something amazing happened.

I was introduced to myself. I learned that limitations are self-inflicted. I learned that depression or unhappiness is a key indicator that I need to make changes. I learned that I will always be happy if I go in the direction of my inner-most excitement. Thoughts become things.

I’ve changed directions. I’m doing everything that brings happiness and joy to my life. I’ve decided to expand spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually.

This is my first blog post of what will become many.

I invite you to share in this journey with me.