
It’s 10 PM two weeks before my daughter’s first birthday, and I’m on Etsy…
It’s 10 PM two weeks before my daughter’s first birthday. I’m on the hunt to find the perfect dress for her birthday party. I check Etsy, Amazon, do a general Google search. Then I check them all again. I use this search word and then that search word. I check all 20 Etsy pages, use multiple filters on Amazon. Go to the Target site, Kohls site, all department store sites. It needs to match the theme and her spirit, be here in a few days and not cost too much. It needs to be perfect. A week and so many hours it’s embarrassing later, no dress. Oh, did I mention that I did the same thing searching for the most perfect party favors, supplies and cake too?
Here’s what happened next. After much heartache and stress, I ordered a few items for the party online, picked up party supplies that kind of go with the theme but not really and a dress from Target. My daughter literally wears the dress for five minutes of the party — one guest sees her in it before she’s stripped down to enjoy the feast and her cake. She steals the show with her smile, dancing and generally by just being the honey badger she is. She will not remember what she wore or the favors or the cake, and guess what? I won’t either.
I often wonder if I was a mom pre-internet, if I would put myself through any of this in the first place. Do you ever wonder this? I do it for my girls, or so I say. Here’s what my now five-year-old remembers about her parties — she was surrounded by family and friends. She got presents. The toys, that girl loves toys. Everything was about her, if only for one day. Here’s what she doesn’t remember — the theme or party favors, what she wore or what her cake looked like (unless she picked it out). Here’s what I hope both of my girls remember about their parties as they grow up — we were celebrating them in all that they are, in all their glory and how very loved they are. Maybe this is really why I do it — if I can make this one-day perfect, maybe it will stay with them, how much they are loved, when times get rough and they hate me (hello teenage years) or when life gets rougher and maybe they hate themselves for a while (hello life crises). But then I remember the other 364 days of the year. I wonder if I redirect that time and attention from one day to 365 days, what the impact would be? Undeniable, that’s what it would be. So, I think this next year, I’ll place my focus and time on a soft tone when I want to yell, a heartfelt wake-up hug and goodnight snuggles, trying to understand when I’ve lost all patience, celebrating each tiny victory with warm praise, truly being present each day and leave the party planning at the door. Well, maybe just one Etsy search couldn’t hurt…
