you study only to show thyself approve what fits you, what about me?what about us? what did God says?

you walking around abusing me, manipulating my self esteem, no matter what i do is never enough, you control every piece of me,you do not have any respect for me. You walking around with your chest up, saying “ i’m the man, i’m the head, the bible says that you should submit to me so therefore, SUBMITTTTT,” then i get scared, and go back to my cocoon of misery. i’m slowly dying, you no longer water me, its been a while since you let sunshine enter, and caress my face a part of me still loves you, and another part of me wishes that i never met you. i’m desperate, i wanna leave, run away but what about my vows, what about the promise i made. oh God what should i do?

In the word i begin to look for truth, for comfort, anything that will give me courage. first a read a line the tears of my eyes made my vision blurry, put the book of life down for a day. I went back a it the next day, and i read two line, i felt asleep, the next days i forgot about it he brought flower, he was smiling, he was having a good day for a minute. then went back to his old ways, now i can’t no longer take it. God why have you forsaken me? where did i go wrong?

i went back to the book of life now with determination i read three lines this times i didn't get tired, this time a light bulb turn on in my brain, knowledge was coming in, i begin to smile, i felt hopeful. i close the book ecstatic and also shocked of this new found knowledge that has been there for so long, that could have save me years of misery, oh God how could i be so clueless of the goodness you have made available for me. i felt like I've been rob.How could this be.

Early morning he is angry again, yelling, shouting for no apparent reason. demanding, always demanding just because he is the man , he is the head, and i should much more can i submit? should i submit till there no life in me ? should i keep quiet like i always did, or should i engage with him with this new knowledge that the Goodness and compassion of God brought to me. let me jump in, for this door of opportunity might never present itself again.

yes my love you are the head, and i proud of you being my head, and i’m also bless as a women to have a head. but you have been abusing of your power for too long, this power as swell your head so much that you forgot, that i’m a blessing to you, without me you do not stand straight, if it wasn't for me who would you be a head to? you misunderstood your calling in my life, you misuse your power over me, can you see you are slowly killing me, killing us, killing our vows, and letting the devil win.

God says “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head. Ephesians 5: 21 but he also said

Husband love your wife and do not be harsh with them (colossians) 3:19 you have not love me husband, you have only been harsh with me. and thist is the reason why you have not been prospering, that is why your prayers has not been answered. i was giving to you as a help mate. but you made of me of a slave. in the book of life i find the stregnt to forgive you, but now that i know the truth.I can’t let you run our marriage

from today onward things have to change, your ways have to change, you also have to stop letting the devil use you against me. remember together we are strong. divided we fail.