This is ambiguous and probably stupid

but

Wouldn’t a simulated reality be preferable?

Analyzing my inner monologue leads me to believe that if I were a foreign entity observing of the inner working of my mind, I might assume that this organism possesses a distorted pattern of thinking.

But leaving it at that not only seems like a cop-out, but leads me further down the path of second guessing this whirlwind of disillusionment. It creates paranoia over something that I don’t innately believe to be true.

While trying to feel comfortable with the idea of not having free will, I began to further think about how the idea of consciousness itself is incredibly uncomfortable to me.

I’ve made the reality I perceive too abstract to be reliable.

This sort of abstraction leads me to negate the idea of free will without truly being able to logically dissect why I came to that very conclusion.

I have a difficult time relating myself to this supposed reality, and even find my use of personal pronouns to be paradoxical in nature.

It’s just frustrating, or probably really stupid, actually, to meditate between a paradox of certainties.