The hardest part of being flat broke is that there isn’t one single “hardest” part. It is a beast with not one, but many faces. There are levels to broke, and derivatives that spawn out from each of these levels. There are times when the most difficult aspect of being completely broke is not being able to afford the cost of a plane ticket for one of your best friend’s weddings. There are other times when you show up empty handed bearing no gift to another friend’s wedding. There are times when you can’t afford to visit the new girl in your life who you are downright crazy about which in turn leads to the fizzling out of your relationship with her. If there ever was one woman for me, it was her. Your nutritional requirements are no longer met which impacts every aspect of your health (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). It is only a matter of time before certain nutritional deficiencies break down the body, the gut, and the mind.
There are of course the times where you can’t afford to pay rent, miss a car payment, miss several consecutive months of student loan payments, and are forced to choose between fueling your body or your car. You haven’t eaten in 30 hours and definitely need food to function well enough to do your job effectively, but if you don’t put gas in your car you will not make it home. If you don’t make it home you’ll have to call upon your colleagues and hope that one of them comes through for you. This is not something you want to see play out so you choose to put that last $5 into your car’s gas tank which in turn means you will be without food for at least another 24 hours, unless a senior colleague happens to treat you to lunch which is an unlikely scenario. The good news is that you’re not going to die. You’ve been in far worse situations before. All things considered you have quite a bit to be thankful for. It’s not like having -$300 in the bank with zero food and no incoming pay for 7 days.
Up until this point in my life, I had not gone more than 2 days without food. Sallie Mae wrongfully withdrew $542 from my bank account, plunging my balance to $317 in the negative. No amount of self-pity would change the fact that I would spend the next 7 days without a bite of food. The first day I saw this as a character building opportunity. I went about my day as I normally would, but obviously without food. I went to the gym, did some reading, performed some administrative tasks for my business, played some xbox, and went to bed. The next few days weren’t too bad, so long as I stayed busy and kept my mind off of my stomach. Day 5 sucked…at least until I decided to take modafinil and phenibut. WOW. I got a massive endorphin release halfway through my muay thai workout. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands after a few rounds on the heavy bag and looked up into the mirror to see my pupils dilated as if I had dropped a full tab of acid. My pupils were HUGE and I felt incredible. This massive endorphin release lasted the remainder of my workout and for several hours post-workout. Looking back, the decision to take phenibut and modafinil on day 5 was an absolute game changer. Had I not taken this killer combo, I likely would have skipped my workout, which likely would have made this day entirely miserable, which in turn would have made days 6 and 7 all the more difficult to deal with.
I struggled through days 6 and 7, but I survived. I got paid on day 8 and feasted on a large pizza pie from my favorite local Italian restaurant. It was THE most satisfying and tasty meal of my entire life.
When adversity comes knocking, open the door, stare it in the eyes, let it know that you will not back down because while you may bend, it is the adversity that will fucking break before you do.
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Love to all my readers and fellow klimbers ❤
