I discovered the male G-Spot last night.
I put my own finger up my own ass and life will never be the same.
I’m a straight 28 year-old male human and have had a fair number of sexual partners and diverse sexual experiences over the past decade. I’ve had sex while drunk, high on cannabis, high on blow, on adderall, on phenibut, on lsd, and sober. These substances alter the orgasm each in their own way. My most powerful orgasm to date was (prior to last night) about 6 hours after taking a large dose of phenibut and 100mcg of lsd. It was an earth shattering experience. I thought it unlikely to have an orgasm that powerful ever again.
Last night I stuck my finger up my ass and it blew that earth shattering experience clean out of the water. It was nothing short of a life altering experience. I was completely sober. In the hours immediately following this monumental orgasm, I went on to solve several problems that I’d been working on for weeks, restarted a profitable business I had been putting off, took the piss of the decade, wrote three (other blog articles), officially published my new business website, and mustered up the courage to ask a particular girl out on a date. As soon as I have the money I will be purchasing a male vibrating butt plug and I have zero shame in admitting that. More specifically a remote controlled vibrating prostate massager called the Lelo Billy. And I’ll put that thing right straight up my tooskie whenever I please and massage the life out of my prostate.
What I’m having a hard time comprehending is why this is my first time making such a discovery. It’s not like I’m sheltered with zero sexual experience. I’m fairly well versed in that realm. I take pride in understanding sex from a man’s and woman’s perspective. I love nothing more than giving a beautiful woman multiple orgasms…except for the newfound prostate orgasm of course. I had always been curious what a clitoral and vaginal orgasm feels like. I remember having a difficult time wrapping my head around the possibility of there being a greater, more intensely pleasurable experience than shooting a fat load directly up the snatch. Since coming to the realization that female orgasms put the male orgasm to shame, I have been a bit envious of the female orgasm, both clitoral and vaginal. They routinely climax for 10+ seconds at a time, often multiples times in a row. The male orgasm cums and goes in one hot second.
Then there is of course what follows the orgasm(s). The female (if the male/female partner did their job) blissfully floats around on a cloud of pure ecstasy for a WHILE, completely unphased by anything else happening around her. On the other hand, the male shoots a quick load and then is filled with shame and remorse and feels the need to evacuate the premises. It’s just how evolution wired us folks. We are programmed to cum and leave. Not our choice. It’s just what happens post-nut.
I say with the utmost sincerity that I am no longer envious of the female orgasm. All hail the prostate. The P-Spot. The Prostatic Wonder. Master P. Lord Prostateus. The Pro State. The State of Pro. The Prosss diggity scoop bop Tate. Thee, Almighty P.
Listen up gents, or any other living specimen that has a prostate gland conveniently located inside their butthole. I understand that many of you dudes out there are uncomfortable with the idea of anything being stuck up your cheekhole. Even your own fingers in your own butt. I get it. I really do. It feels like trespassing. But if you can’t get over that fear of permitting temporary right of passage through the gates of Narnia, then you simply don’t deserve to experience the most sensational physical pleasure a man can experience. It’s just not for you. And that’s cool, man. Nothing is for everyone right? Ehhhhhh, yeah I’m gonna go ahead and say that water, air, food, and the prostate orgasm are all in fact for everyone, all beings that in fact have a prostate. Quite frankly I almost chose to keep this a secret, keep it all to myself, but elected to not play God. Everyone with a prostate deserves to know the truth. THEE truth.
If you’ve made it this far in the article you either find me comedically entertaining or you are sold on the endless possibilities of the great unknown and are ready to stick the nearest blunt object up your keester. Don’t. Please don’t. This is sacred ground we’re dealing with here and brute force is not the manner of entry we are looking for here. I’ll provide you with a very brief instruction manual. You will not become a black belt in butt fingering, but you’ll know enough to be dangerous. And for fuck’s sake please do your own research beyond what I’ve written in this article. I’m not a butt doctor.
Put the box of jumbo crayons down. Go drop a dump if you have to and clean yourself (shower) before anything else. Now clip and file your fingernails. Good. Go get some lube. I typically use coconut oil and I’m fairly certain it is safe. Yes, shame on me for blindly trusting coconut oil, but it is definitely effective and hasn’t ever irritated me in any way. With lube in hand grab yourself a towel. Great. Now go make yourself comfortable, preferably in a bed and behind a closed and locked door. Excellent. Pick a finger. Any finger. Lube that baby up respectfully. Be generous. There is no such thing as too much lube. Toss some lube on your balloon knot as well. Now, this is not a 1,2,3 GO type of ordeal so don’t go cramming your fingers up the chute expecting greatness. This is not something you or you boothole have ever experienced before. Remember, this is sacred ground. Treat it as such.
Start with a finger and rim yourself for a bit. When comfortable and more relaxed, take the next step. Go ahead and slide a finger straight in. Do this slowly. You probably won’t hit the p-spot right away. The p-spot is located towards the belly. Poke around gently for a bit. You WILL know when you’ve found the precious. If you still haven’t found it you probably are not deep enough. Go deepah. Do so gently. Do so smoothly. But definitely go deeper. The p-spot is located about two inches in from your point of entry. Congratulations. Yes. There it is. You have discovered new land. Population: 1 finger tip.
So now what? As you may have already realized, it is not an instant cum button. It can take a while to reach climax especially during your first time. It’s a bit more complicated than mindlessly cranking your meat stick. The classic “come hither” motion works as does simply rubbing it and changing up the speed and pressure. It’s actually strangely similar to eating pussy. More specifically tongue punching the clitoris. Start slow and gentle. Increase pressure and speed with time. Cunnilingus 101. The prostate will swell up much like a clitoris does when stimulated. If you approach it like you would approach a clitoris with your tongue and the clam center with your fingers you will make out just fine.
Your hand and fingers may cramp up on you. Switch up the hands and fingers as needed. This is the main reason I’ll be purchasing a toy. Whatever you do don’t give up. Keep at it and you will be eternally rewarded. If your fingers fail you but you can feel you are close to a massive eruption then masturbate normally with one finger up your ass. Try to reach the p-spot and wiggle that finger if you can. It will be the best orgasm you’ve ever given yourself, potentially the greatest orgasm of your life. If you are able to cross the p-spot finish line without stroking the shaft at all, you will 100% have the greatest orgasm of your life.
Chances are high that you will not reach full climax your first time. But once you get just a small taste for it, you will return to the black gate of Mordor with a cheeky smile on your face.
Merry Christmas to all
And to all
A good prostate.
Love to all my readers and fellow klimbers ❤
