It’s Ok to Be Boring Right Now

You don’t have to have a plan.

“I feel like I alternate between having it together and having no idea what I’m doing.” Between figuring out how to get an apartment, rent, laundry, cooking meals not in the shape of chicken nuggets, and performing at the office, it’s common to feel lost while trying to “adult.” The real question is, “Why do we constantly feel like we have to know what we’re doing?”

I grew up with a structure and a schedule, like most millennials. I couldn’t choose between orchestra and swimming and science fair, so I did them all. I reveled in my strict scheduling and tight turn arounds. I performed well under pressure and invited the same in college, pursuing everything I could — leaving little time for leisure.

This is the first time in my life where there is nothing set after tomorrow. Sure, I have a job; sure, I can fill my extra hours with extracurriculars and chores and shopping trips, but it’s not the same.

Filling my hours with more things to do is no longer part of the fun, it’s hiding from the gaping hole of no-plans. There’s no next “grade” or graduation to make. My life is no longer 2- or 4-year chunks but a vast unknown of possibility after possibility.

Cue the hyperventilating.

Do I have it all figured out? Absolutely not. I don’t plan on figuring it out anytime soon. “Living in the moment” does not require quitting your job and traveling around the world aimlessly with a backpack and no wallet. “Living in the moment” can be in the quiet grocery store trips, the Netflix marathons, the mundane minutes that make up a day.

I’d rather settle into my adult self. It’s ok to be boring right now. Because each “boring” day of learning who I am brings me one step closer to who I want to be.