Great piece of writing. I enjoy and learn from these paragraphs. And your journey is moving and inspiring.
I do believe that in order to love again, you have to be vulnerable not naive.
To err is human
At the end, I think you deserve a god not a man. If you are perfectible as you mentioned, why are you expecting the perfection from a man? Along the road, have you ever hurt any single good man, who was able to help you to grow and to shine like a Queen?