Feminism doesn’t say all men are rapists. You do.

“It’s unfair of feminists to think all men are rapists! Not all men are like that, and lots of women objectify men.”

This is something a close relative of mine once told me. As a new feminist and a couple of years younger from now and also having very small tear ducts, I had absolutely no idea what to reply and simply started crying. I didn’t think this was comparable at all — and yet I couldn’t argue with it in a reasonable way. Some of it is true. It is true women are capable of seeing men as objects.

But if not all men are rapists, then why is it that whenever I wear a short dress or a revealing shirt, I am policed by my own mother? Why is it that 12 year old girls are being told they’re distracting their fellow male students and their teachers when their bra strap is showing? Why is it that we’re teaching women about defending themselves, but we aren’t teaching people about consent?

Why is it that when a woman is raped, she is asked “Were you intoxicated?”, “Were you flirting?” and most importantly “What did you wear?”

As a feminist I acknowledge that all people can be shitty people.

As a feminist I am not saying all men are rapists. My parents are whenever they comment on my skirt. My peers are when they shame a girl for flirting with too many boys. My relative is when he tells me over and over again that “men never really grow up”.

Damn yes he should be offended when people say all men are rapists. But he’s the one perpetuating the stereotype.