Dealing with Being Alone
When was the last time you enjoyed being alone?

I only know one person who decided to go on a vacation alone because they wanted to. Apart from that (mostly) everyone I know is scared of appearing alone/being alone. Have you ever noticed that you rarely see anyone enjoying themselves when they’re alone? People (who are alone) are usually seen rushing somewhere, busy, or distracted…but why?
When was the last time you saw a person dine alone enjoy their experience (not distracted on their phone, laptop or reading a book)?
Did you feel sorry for them?
When was the last time you enjoyed being alone or did something alone publicly? I’m not talking about watching Netflix curled up in your bed or walking your dog. But when was the last time you ate at a nice restaurant, gone on a trip, paid a visit to the museum, or watch a movie deliberately by yourself?
I certainly haven’t…but why? Why am I — are we so scared of being and appearing alone?
My theory is people are often afraid of being alone because they aren’t comfortable with themselves. This fear is why we reach to our phones when we’re sitting alone on the subway or waiting for a friend to show up.
I used to be afraid of appearing alone because I didn’t want people to think I had no friends. I didn’t want people to think that no one wanted to spend their time with me. I didn’t want anyone to look at me and feel sorry for me. It was not until I saw a young woman dine at a fancy restaurant by herself that I started to question my thinking. This woman wasn’t looking at her phone or scarfing down her meal in a hurry. Instead, she radiated a certain kind of comfort, a comfort that signaled she was completely comfortable with being alone. You could tell from the way she ate and looked out the window that she was enjoying her food, her own company and life without needing someone to be there.
This woman wasn’t scared of being alone.
This woman enjoyed her own company.
And I wanted that (I still do). I wanted to be comfortable with myself. I wanted to enjoy my own company.
Sooooo…
I booked my first solo trip to LA. For one week. Knowing no one.
It’s kind of extreme for trying to be comfortable in my own skin but I’m the kind of person that’s either all in or out. While I’m a little nervous, I can’t tell you how liberating this decision is.
In short, I’m gradually learning to enjoy my own company. That there’s nothing wrong with being alone and the ability to deliberately dine at a restaurant by yourself is actually a declaration that you’re comfortable with yourself and not something to feel ashamed of.
I encourage everyone to give this “alone thing” a try.
— Kimberly
