5250 Ways Medium Embodies the Evils of Capitalism. Part 1.

Welcome to my 5250 part series breaking down how Medium perfectly represents the evils of modern capitalism.

Part 1: Exploitation of Something Beautiful

Remember when this platform started? It was great. Everyday you would stumble upon some amazing exposé on the science of tree ring counting, or something equally bizarre, yet interesting. Hours were spent reading long form content from amazing writers. I know I lost most of 2012 to Medium articles. I sustained myself on only the crumbs I was able to remove from beneath my computer keyboard. Never wanting to stray too far from the screen, lest I miss the latest musings from that guy living in a Honda Fit down by the Gowanus Canal.

That guy in the Honda Fit was my life blood. Literally, I once stole some blood from him. That was the Medium I remember. A place where you could meet like minded people, and steal their bodily fluids for personal use, not for personal gain.

Look at this place now. To quote a famous president: SAD!

SAD! — Donald John Trump

Ruined by the filth covered hands of marketers and peddlers of self help literature. Medium is like if a tabloid and those pamphlets people shove under you doors combined into a terrifying questionably factual mass. Medium has become the hot new site for SEO marketers. They can pump out mediocre content day after day, and reap great rewards. Hundreds of backlinks a day, thousands of views, and all they had to do was come up with 5 Reasons to Get Up at 1:30AM.

These capitalist, looking to make a quick buck, have turned this once beautiful land into a burned out wasteland of listicles and self congratulatory blog posts. No Steve, a morning ritual of taking a cold shower, eating exactly 200kg of Soylent, and jogging through a low income community, won’t turn me into a billionaire.

Side note, why does everyone in tech seem to think they’re definitely gonna be a billionaire?

The same thing happens in modern capitalism. Corporations see beautiful lands, like the rainforest, and destroy it for quick gain. The shareholders never satiated, they continue their march through our beautiful lands. Taking everything we hold dear, and crushing it with their mighty oligarchical fists. When asked why they commit these atrocities, they cite their eternal fiduciary duty to the almighty shareholders.

Medium is basically like that now.

MTV 2005 — Wonder Showzen

This article is like, 80% satire.

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