I wondered. Was I keeping the old couch because I was holding onto hope?
Even today I can hear the voice of one of the most iconic tv characters in my head: Carrie Bradshaw, complete with typing visual.
The first “Sex and the City” episode aired 20 years ago this week. As a pre-teen, I was too young to start thinking about dating, but I got sucked in during college when I had a tv in my dorm room and a smaller one on my elliptical machine. I’d say the HBO series would end up having the most visible impact on my life.
Year after year, twenty-something women come to New York City in search of the two L’s: labels and love.
- I indulged many unnecessary but oh-so-delicious spoonfuls of Magnolia Bakery cupcakes and banana puddings.
- I held my birthday party at Buddakan where Carrie and Big celebrated their engagement and also went out a ton in the Meatpacking District in graduate school.
- I still totally want to get married at the New York Public Library (same Bryant Park location).
- I moved to the West Village because it looked like Carrie’s Upper East Side stoop, even though I couldn’t really afford it and would eventually have to squish in a model as roommate.
- I became a lifestyle writer and wrote about dating— it wasn’t Vogue, but it was online for the world to see.
- I struggled financially but still went to sample sales.
- I made friends who had access to SoHo House and the pool.
8. I wrote a subsequent Audible e-book about heartbreak in which my friend Samantha took this photo of me in inspired tutu.
And oh, the dating.
Some love stories aren’t epic novels, some are short stories
But, that doesn’t make them any less filled with love.
Didn’t we all have or know someone who had an Aidan who we all thought we should end up marrying but instead broke off an engagement? Or a Mr. Big (for me, a Mr. Divorcee) who you didn’t confess to tell your friends or parents that you were still in touch? Or a brooding fellow writer Berger? Her dating life was arguably enviable and in some ways, relatable. Carrie had her Post-it moment, just like we have ghosting. But Carrie never had to deal with online dating, and I longed for stories where I’d meet a prospect, say, in Prospect Park and not pop up on Hinge. I think fondly back on Darren Star’s explosive show — how I loved that Carrie had all these moments from Fleet Week to a peeing politician and through it all, she never anchored down and settled for one party. Although… at some point in my late twenties I realized most of the time, whether it was at brunch, book club, or the club — the subject of the conversation was men, or lack of them. And eventually, I wanted to talk about other important things: career, spirituality and other passions besides dealing with the ughs before meeting your city soulmate.
They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.
It was Sex & the City… and Us. We had our Samantha friends who somehow could be like a man with cordless sex, Charlottes who primly stressed about everything, and the Mirandas with a practical job and the same haircut throughout the seasons.
I was a freelance on-camera correspondent for a major tv network when Sarah Jessica Parker came floating down the hallway after her interview. I meekly asked if I could take a photo and she was so much smaller, more gracious and lovelier than I imagined. I bumped my head into hers for the blurry capture before she caught a cab. It was a full circle moment before my NYC began to change.
Eventually, my dreamy, not rent-stabilized apartment caught on fire while I was on a travel assignment. I moved into a more stable, oven-less shoebox with my fridge in my closet. I don’t wear heels anymore, and I’m apparently more a realistic Miranda now and baby-crazy Charlotte than boy-crazy Samantha.
I recently told another writer fascinated by SATC down under:
Part of me thinks every girl needs to go [broke] just like every girl needs to go through heartbreak. It was a big personal growth period but not a financial growth period.
I sure miss that iconic tutu. “Sex and the City” gave me inspiration to find me in my own narrative in the tech and wellness worlds. I believe I’m destined to shape my own sequel. I’m making my own impact. And hey, at least I now have Starr’s new season premiere of “Younger” to stream and dream about possibilities in the great city again. As Carrie would say:
Yeah, yeah… put it in writing.
