I’m waiting and waiting at starbucks for a coffee I neither want nor need. I’m sitting in a suit at Safeway eating a breakfast burrito and that coffee. There’s an incredibly fat girl sitting at the table sucking down a chocolate covered vanilla ice cream staring at her laptop.

A man in a pretty long gray beard with intentionally grown but short whiskers sits tapping on his phone. As I do. So perhaps he is taking a shot at real time writing just like me . But the odds seem against it.

A woman was talking on the radio – Dani Shapiro I think – about a book on her marriage …

People change over 20 or 30 years and some find grace in the changes … some just find the pointlessness and stupidity of continuing to shove yourselves together. Am I worse than you for finding myself in need of a change of adventure? in need of self and honestly and fresh sickness … when you’re sick in bed … sick from poisoning and a harrowing trip back so sick you have to have her stop the car so you can vomit in the gutter and you get nothing but disdain. … well it is just one more sign that there is no comfort here … no point is calling it cold comfort when it’s none at all

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