Self Doubt — A never ending struggle.
Almost everyone struggles with self-doubt despite their profession or personality. People are always comparing themselves to others and it’s usually with a negative perspective. I believe that especially creatives wrestle this internal conflict constantly. The nature of creative work makes everyone more vulnerable to feeling inadequate sometimes.
I do feel this way and it’s been really hard finding the balance between unwanted, toxic envy and, let’s say, inspiration.
I have always been a perfectionist and that led me down some dark paths psychologically. I remember, since I was very young, I would get fascinated by a lot of things but yet give them up or not even try them at all. That was because I felt I couldn’t reach a specific ideal level.
A perfect example would be playing the guitar. I felt disheartened as my friend played better than me even though we started practicing at the same time. (He studied more and was more focused with a better understanding of the instrument). I started this negative self talk, as I always do, about how stupid I am and how pointless it is for me to keep trying. Of course, self-sabotaging and self-loathing is a dead end. You just hit a wall that is nowhere near the good, original, honest art that we strive to create.
People do this every day. Compare themselves to someone else’s body, fashion, cars, gadgets etc. I remember seeing shots that some of my favorite animators created and having small devil-like figure popping in my brain whispering “give up”. The first time I saw a professional using the graph editor and explaining curves I started having spaghetti nightmares. I couldn’t understand the functionality or the benefit of using it and that was really troubling.
Some people don’t overthink this situations and adopt the “fake it ’til you make it” motto. This attitude will only last until you start being around artists at the top of their game. It’s hard to not bounce back from inspiration to shame, feeling like you don’t belong.
I still fight this battle almost everyday but, as I grow up, I learn to deal with this better. I learned that everyone struggles and there’s no such thing as just pure talent. Some people are definitely more inclined to become artists and have an innate sense of timing, spacing etc. But it is clear to me that, if they want to be great artists, even they have to practice as well. Even if you are born with the ability to be a great artist doesn’t automatically mean you will become one. There are many examples of child prodigies in the arts that are never heard from again. There are many more examples of artists who developed their artistic skill over time through practice.
Deliberate practice is often the most overlooked aspect of becoming great. Struggle isn’t necessary for success but it usually results in progress. We need to use our struggles, own them and make them advantages and allies instead of moments that hold us back. Everything is about the meaning we give to certain moments.
Life without struggles would be only time-moving-forward.
To struggle is to be engaged with something in a way that provides a challenge in someway. Fighting though struggles is how we get growth.
No matter how good of an animator I become, I’ll always find someone better than me. To me there’s nothing more frustrating than this sentence, especially knowing all this effort I put in my own work.

I am slowly teaching myself how to turn the negative envy around and become inspired by other artists. I try not to worry about what others think and I’ve learned that if you’re doing something you love, self-doubt and negative energy quickly fades away.
It’s incredibly difficult to have a truly objective view of your own work. But I try not to focus on the outcome, but instead, on the process. Any artist who loves their own work too much isn’t inclined to improve. Sometimes a little self-loathing goes a long way towards improving your self. Dissatisfaction is a great motivator but we have to keep this to a healthy level that is motivating us and not preventing us from further trying.
I find that studying the work of someone can be a good motivator but it’s even more inspirational if you read about their personal struggles. That’s what really gives me courage to keep trying. When my mentors shared stories about their personal experience, it completely lifted my spirit.
I believe that every artist experiences those extreme highs and lows. All of us search for this perfect balance. I have questioned my ability to animate many times but never for a moment have I doubted my love for the magic of animation. I just do my best every time.
I do my best to surrender and accept certain things that the journey gives me. The best we can do is put in the work and make sure we’re progressing.
As long as we’re moving forward, with patience, it will hopefully pay out eventually. Similar to any game or hero’s journey. You grind, you get experience going through different levels until you can win the gold, free the princess etc. Just by trusting the process.
I remind myself very often that the lack of immediate, awesome results can be disheartening but if I do the work for the sake of doing the work, after a while I’ll start seeing this glimpse of improvement and then I’ll be motivated again.
If you struggle like I do, I suggest you take some time and watch the videos below… They put things in perspective.
You can also check out my FB page for similar content from time to time.
All the best and don’t give up.