Down on paper

its bad, its good, its life — look up, but put it down on paper.

I sat, in a car, and watched my stop go by. I am here ten minutes later and I have to put this down on paper — Because you can’t walk back in time.

This week, I fake laughed a lot.

This week, I argued for what I don’t believe in, just so I can feel the heat of an inflamed person defend what sure was right. I’m not a prick.

This week, I went to a meeting, not an AA meeting but close. Lost in the crowd never wanting to be noticed while wanting to see everything. That was yesternight.

This week, I admit that I miss her. Yes, her, the tall perfect intellect.

This week, I talked to a new friend. She’s fine, one of the beautiful ones, I don’t know what to think of her.

This day, I woke up and you know, ‘fake expertised’ again. This is important in my line of work — you don’t want anyone to know that you are not the guru in building that super app, what matters is that they believe you’ll swoop in, write some code and save the day.

This moment, I reflect upon my week. And I swear, I’m not letting my stop go by, if that means that all the stops have to be erased and forgotten.

This life.

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