“The Courage to be disliked.” — A book review.
A single book can change your life.” A sentence carved on the back cover of the book puts many pieces together, regarding the first impression of the book.
The book commences with a wise dialogue and conversations between a young man and a renowned Philosopher in the town- their contrasting opinions, wordly exchange, and philosophical takes. The book is split in five divisions worded as “nights” in the book, referring to the conversations between the two.
The first night sets off with the young man’s firm belief that life is very difficult, and that the past influences a man’s future, actively. Alfred Adler is introduced from the conversation then on— and one of his earliest beliefs are brought into the spotlight. The first night carries on with the philosopher informing the young man, that when one doesn’t want to get a task fulfilled, one fabricates emotions like anxiety, anger, or fear. He goes on speaking of how people desire to change, but lack the courage to. The Philosopher further breaks the young man’s irrational opinion that a past influences a man’s future.
The second night brings up one of the most crucial reasonings in the book- “All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.” The Philosopher explains that people suffer highly, when they take other people’s opinions into consideration, try to live up to others’ expectations, and treat everything in life as a competetion. He adds later on, that the existence of beauty and grace makes the other virtues feel lesser; had there been nothing such as beauty, or grace, people would have wholeheartedly normalised not being beautiful or graceful enough. The philosopher also explains in the end, that the only person worrying about their appearence, is nobody, but themselves.
The third night presents an entirely different aspect of treating inter-personal relations with mutualism. The Philosopher explains to the young man, that one must understand where to draw the line. When one thinks about others’ opinion, they cross the boundary and step into somebody else’s life tasks, rather than focusing on their own. He provides the example of Alexander and his infamous chopping of the ‘Gordian Knot’, and further adds that external validation or recognition binds the person into uncountable chains- Give it up and you shall be free.
The fourth night begins with the Philosopher bringing the etimology of ‘individual’ into the frame, and asking the young man to treat other people as comrades, as members of the same community, and he further brings up the topic of encouraging people, rather than praising, or rebuking them.
One of my favourite things about the fifth and the last night would be that, it ended precisely, like a last night. The end was seemingly scarless, where the Philosopher sheds light on various topics and differentiates between trust and confidence. He also adds on, that one tries to be special, because one can’t accept themselves as normal. The young man, further, learns to live as if he is dancing. Probably the last thing that he asks the philosopher is, the meaning of life, and he answers that there is none.
The book is nihilist, and at the same time, anti-nihilist in every way. It lists out some of the greatest life lessons and experiences, and at the same time, makes you question if you have lived life for yourself or for others?
The young man, in the beginning of the book challenges the philosopher that he would make the other bend down on his knees, if he is proven wrong, but in the end, the young man bows down respectfully towards the old philosopher. The Japanese have indeed taken ‘ikigai’ to a whole different level. The book passes on a message- Life lacks inherent meaning, you have to search for meaning, and make it simple for yourself.
