Dealing with the control flow
… of menstruation.
I want to be a good engineer; but no matter how I try, there is always 5 days a month when I feel like absolute shit and feel like I’m not doing the best I can. Yes, I’m talking about my menstrual cycle known as the period.
Note: This should really be obvious without me saying but everyone’s menstrual symptom is different. Symptoms I deal with are mine and shall not be used as “all women”. Also, not all women menstruate so “She must be on her period” joke is not funny FYI.
I was recently talking to my friend about how I had 5 hours long job interview on the 2nd day of my period. I was joking how all I could think while doing code interview was “Is it my butt sweat or period” and how interviewers saw me on the lowest performing and really distracted day ever possible. My friend then asked me “Did you tell them you were on your period?” My immediate response was “Oh hell no”. It made me wonder why my initial reaction was like that.
I’m a woman who grew up and lived in Japan until age 25, menstruation was never a thing you would discuss publicly. It was not at all talked about in the society that I actually learned the term PMS — Premenstrual Syndrome — from watching American TV shows joking about it (for my English class). I never gave much thought to my period. The period was something that brings physical discomfort every month and that was it.
The time I accidentally faced with my period
About 2 years ago, I became a full-time remote employee for the 1st time in my life. I work from home alone with no co-workers sitting next to me. Suddenly I stoped giving a shit if I have 3 layers of pants + heat pack on my belly or sitting in an awkward curled up position when my uterus clamped hard. Going remote also gave me a chance to realize my PMS. I don’t really crave for ice cream or be overly emotional like how media jokes about PMS. For a long time, I honestly thought I don’t have PMS. But few months into working remotely, I realized physical fatigue and not being able to concentrate was a reoccurring theme with my menstrual cycle.
Realizing that it was my PMS, when I desperately wanted to nap or was not producing as much Pull Requests as I should, took huge weights off my chest. I realized how demeaning it was to have a bad week every month from what I used to describe as “being lazy”. Once I realized it is my body’s natural being, I started to get a better grip. I now know I better tackle different kind of work when it’s time for my PMS. No rewrite of large complicated logic, but stack up on small and obvious bug fixes.
Can we start being more open about menstrual cycle in a workplace?
I only discovered how to deal with my period and get better work done because I was able to openly face with my period. It’s really funny to me that when you get sick from food poisoning, going to the bathroom frequently or sitting in a comfy chair for a long time is expected; but we (the menstruating population) still talk about hiding tampons in our sleeve when going to the bathroom — for chronic condition that happens to many humans of a workforce.
Also, please don’t say it’s TMI because it is something that come out of vagina — it is literally a naturally occurring condition like crying when you are moved or sweating because you are alive.
Speaking of ~ usual day at the office™ with menstruation ~ you should listen to this brilliant talk by Alice Bartlett of the Tampon Club fame. You would not regret the 7min for watching this.
I would love it if it was more socially acceptable to discuss menstrual cycle in work place.
Mariko has watched all 6 seasons of Sex and The City to learn English. She has been living in US for 6 years and brisk New York winter made her almost don’t care about what everybody thinks when she openly talks about menstrual cycle. Happy international women’s day, I guess.
