I’m Scared I’ll Never Have Kids

I am 29 and so often I find myself worrying that I will never have children. Do I want kids? Absolutely. But it seems that too many stars have to align for me to have them.

Female biology is relentless.

After 32, fertility starts to gradually decline. And we’ve all agreed on 35 as being a reasonable threshold for giving birth to your first child, minimizing the potential risk of further complications.

So let’s do quick maths

If I want to give birth at 35

I need to get pregnant at 34

Will Most likely need to start trying at 33

Be proposed to by 32 because it takes a year to plan and save up for a wedding

29–30 is when I should meet the right person because I want to date for at least a few years before getting married… which means I need to meet this person this year.

-_-

You see where I am getting at?

You can say, “Oh well, you can get married much quicker. You don’t need a year to plan a wedding bla bla bla.”

Sure. But my point is still standing. I don’t have that much time!

More often than not I picture my life at 35, what if I am still single? What does that life look like for me? Is it fulfilling child-free?

I love my life. I love the freedom I have. I love the fact that I could just move to Australia tomorrow if I want to!

I am also a planner. I love setting and archiving goals. And with a goal like having a family, it takes two. It’s just not something you can force. Also, I find Spanish men absolutely undatable, but that’s a different story.

We, as biological women, simply don’t have the luxury of having children whenever we want. And with that, the career, money, not having my family around to help, it’s just not that simple, unfortunately.

I know I am not alone in this. I just don’t quite have the answer to this problem.

But I do find it funny how my mom when giving birth to my brother at 25 thought she was having him very late, and I’ll become a mom around 35, thinking it’s late. Will my daughter have hers at 45, thinking the same?