
In the last decade of my visits to the Veterans Affairs hospitals I have seen quite a bit and experienced some great and then some not so great things.
This Last visit to my PCP (Primary Care Physician) was one of the not so great variety. In my time this doctor will be the fourth of fifth one I have had assigned to me. The only thing certain at this point is this one will not last either.
Upon arriving the VA OIF clinic I am told to have a seat a not too uncommon experience for veteran and civilian alike. Unlike the civilian doctors here at the OIF clinic waiting room I will meet various other veterans who I may or may not bond with but will never feel any frustration, anger or rage. Besides the wait is never too bad.
However, today the wait was not one of the shortest ones. In fact on this date It seems I will be waiting a long time. While waiting another vet sitting with his wife begins to speak to me. He lives an hour and half away I gather and has came in today for his annual check up. He is happily married she nods in approval and is not ashamed to tell me that the first thing to do in a marriage is to ensure she can feed you what you like…..
He goes on to tell me quite a bit of his story and life. We never speak about our experiences in the military. In any other facility I would have stopped responding a long time ago. But he is a veteran just like me so I keep up the conversation. Sometimes the guy next to you is literally on his last leg and maybe just maybe I am the ear that keeps him alive or gives him a relief.
Before too long maybe 30 mins or so my neighbor is called to the back leaving me alone with a man sitting close by with hearing aids in both ears and a walker. I really dig these guys. Often times they provide great “no shit” there I was stories. Or they provide beautiful insights into the VA, its processes, its staff and sometimes just life in general.
Without fail the man turns to me and says: “Did you get the feeling she was not allowed to speak or she would face a trip to the wood shed” I found this most intriguing as this man never once turned and acknowledged me or the first veteran and most of the time his eyes were closed and I would have bet a small fortune he was asleep. Its even more revealing as this is the deep south and a man of a certain age like those two tend to be….well lets play nice and say “old fashioned”
He was not wrong though and on looking back I do not recall her speaking not one time without his prompting or tacit permission. And like a Greek Oracle he moves on and tells me that he is there today to ask for Viagra. Now looking at him I would guess he was at least pushing 80 and beyond caring about sex. But don't judge a book by its cover. You just never know.
I finally am summoned and a RN leads me back for vitals and all the normal pre screening that goes on prior to seeing the Doctor. She is new to me and is training her replacement today as well. It goes well. I receive a flu shot and escorted to an exam room to meet my new doctor.
I always go into these visits without any expectations or preconceived idea’s. I have gotten some of the best care in my life in this system and at times some of the run of mill horror story care as well. I have had to argue and fight over the years to not take different medications and I have had to jump up and down to get other things taken care of or to get referrals. But like the wheel of life you just never know what the wheel of fortune will have for you on any given day at the VA.
Finally the doctor comes in. She introduces herself but does not shake my hand or look me in the eyes. So far so bad. Who knows though, she could be having the worst day of her life. Maybe her mom is dying or did die yesterday. She wastes no time in sitting down and getting on her computer.
She asks me the usual round of screening questions as you come to expect. I am trying to be optimistic as I have a piece of paper in my pocket I am gonna ask her to sign if I can get my nerve up. Within a few mins she begins trying to pressure me to get on depression meds ect. Those are great if they work for you or you have had good results. I have not. We argue a little bit about this but she decides to drop the whole issue as she is going to walk me to mental health and make me see someone. Now this is uncalled for.
If I had presented depressed or crying or even asking about mental health ect I could understand her interest. Hell she would be completely warranted in her concern. But that's not the case. She asks to see my legs and I have scars on my legs from dog bites, concertina wire and god knows what else. I am met with bafflement. What are all of those scars? I wasn't quite sure what to make of that. In all my years and dozens of doctors and others who have seen my legs no one has really asked or acted as if there was something suspect.
Well I tried to tell her that some were from when a dog bit me here and there another dog another wire another sharp object. This does not appease her. I am totally at a loss as they are healed up and bothering no one. She dam sure never said for me to file a claim on them but who cares.
We proceed to my feet. She sees my calloused feet which I'm quite proud of as those feet have walked more ruck marches on the Air Assault standard than she will see in patients all week. Those feet have marched the “Dancon” in Kosovo through the mountains. Those feet can stand 12 hours on a concrete loading dock and not hurt.
But she is insisting I go see someone to have them cut off. Seriously? They are not hurting me and are not at risk of doing so best I can figure. But I am not surprised or upset even at her behavior. This woman just moments ago wanted me to explain scars and act like it was a matter of suspicion and also is telling me she will hold my hand and take me to mental health another stop I did not ask for and better yet I know where mental health is.
Content with some more forced referrals that she thinks I need and will not listen to anything i have to say about my health or things I am trying or have been doing like losing 35 pounds after I stopped taking the Psyche drugs.
So all the sudden she says “Dam!” I look over and still no eye contact from her. Bedside manners what manners? We don't need no stinking bedside manners! Have you seen the “Three amigo’s?” well if you have not that nice pop culture joke will elude you.
Then she proceeds to complain how the system is so slow. That it is getting on her last nerve and forcing her to get mad. But it doesn’t stop there, oh no. I have to listen to her bitch and moan for almost five solid minutes about how this is beneath her, how this is a complete waste of her time, how she could be doing so many better things with her time and finally how she is ready to be done. I can only assume I like the computer am a hinderance to her happiness.

There is no way in hell I am asking her to sign my form, there is no way in hell I am going to bring up my valid questions or complaints today or any day for that matter. It never occurred to her that maybe I was shaking and sweating because I was anxious, or that I could be having a bad day or maybe I was hungry but had fasted for labs that she told me were not needed, or maybe I had an altercation in the parking lot. Never bothered to notice that but, she sure noticed when I said shit concerning the scars on my legs.
She wasted no time admonishing me and telling me she was not going to put up with my profanity laced mouth. Strange, how is she even employed in this hospital of all hospital's. I wonder at that point is it because she can not go anywhere else? I said shit one time and she treated me like a dirt bag.
I sit there and all that keeps coming to my mind is I don't need an escort to mental health, she does! Finally she quits moaning and dismisses me. We never talked about anything of my choosing or my concern. But I can tell you how important her time and resources are.
Do not get me wrong I love the VA and I would say that the level of care I have received has been overwhelmingly good even with the occasional bad apple. But she makes the third PCP doctor I have seen in the system that I left thinking I will never go back.
Today I am thinking of going back and asking to see a Patient Care Representative or maybe I will call it in and try to get assigned to a new doctor as my nurse advised me once I told her what happened to me back there.