The Kittens, The Girl, And The Tattoo
Stupid man questions
Recently, a litter of kittens invaded my backyard. I thought I should find them homes.
What started out as a good deed ended up being a headache of red-tape, telephone run-around, volunteer bureaucracy, and flaming hoop-jumping.
Ultimately, after a dozen phone calls and encouragement from my cat-loving friends, I found the Kitty Bungalow: Charm School For Wayward Cats of Los Angeles, California. The Kitty Bungalow is an all-volunteer, no-kill shelter which tames and socializes feral kittens and serves as a cat-adoption center.
But this is a story about a girl and her tattoo. Really. I’m getting to her.
With the guidance of the helpful staff of the Kitty Bungalow, I was able to catch five kittens and one adult.
I loaded up my car with four feline-filled cages and drove to the Kitty Bungalow where I was greeted by Kitty Bungalow volunteer “Amanda.”
Amanda was exceptionally beautiful. She was maybe 25 years old, about five-and-half feet tall, and had wavy, shoulder-length brown hair. She was quite fit, wearing snug blue jeans and a tight, LOW-cut tank top. Amanda was “busty.”
Covering her exposed cleavage was an enormous tattoo. It was colorful and intricately detailed. It was amazing. I don’t know how far down her chest the tattoo went, but it went as high as her collar bones.
Amanda had no other tattoos that I could see or remember.
After being caught and embarrassed many times in the past, I’ve learned to look a woman in the eyes whenever I talk to them. But, between being a hetero male and Amanda’s incredible tattoo, my eyes were constantly darting from her eyes to her chest and back again.
And because of that, not being able to fully focus or examine it, at least not without being obvious and feeling perv-y, I cannot remember the exact elements of Amanda’s tattoo. I recall it was floral.
Fortunately for me, Amanda was focused on the kittens in their cages, so she didn’t notice me having my ocular, moral dilemma.
Amanda instructed me to take the adult cat to a local animal shelter to have it spayed/neutered, take it back to my house, and release it, which I did. That left me with an empty cat cage and, I was hoping, another opportunity to see Amanda again.
But that was not to be.
And it left me with a questions, about Amanda’s tattoo, not cats.
Did stunningly beautiful Amanda get a chest tattoo to cover her ample cleavage? If so, why wear a revealing tank top?
Did she get the tattoo to draw attention to her cleavage? Yeah, as if any guy needs an excuse to look at a woman’s chest.
If I had known Amanda well enough, I would have asked. But, seeing as how I just met her, that one time, I’ll never know her reasons.
Maybe it’s one of those “if you have to ask” situations?
I’m not a woman, so I have to ask.
A man’s stupid question?
Or a stupid man’s question?
After writing this story, I questioned whether it was too sexist and overly objectified women.
I sought out the opinions of four of my closest and dearest female friends, and asked all of them to read a rough draft of the above story. All of them happen to be busty. Only one of them has (multiple) tattoos, though not on her chest (she also wears tank tops, strictly for their comfort level).
All but one of my friends approved of the story. My tattooed friend was the holdout. She found the above story a bit offensive and that it reinforced the stigma that women with tattoos often suffer, especially where a woman chooses to place her tattoo. A man doesn’t have to answer questions about a tattoo on his chest, so why should a woman?
Deepest apologies to my friend. I meant no harm. And sincerest apologies to anyone who finds my story offensive or sexist.
Sources: Lovebirds chest tattoo: www.inkedmag.com