“Despite the fact that our lawyers beseech me to avoid culpability, I take responsibility for the transgressions against our guest today. We should not have used the physical force of law to remove a paying guest from our flight, let alone to make room for an employee. United, under my guidance, should not have and will never again fail like this.

“As soon as this was brought to my attention, I made it a priority to contact this guest. After being cleared by paramedics, I arranged a private flight for him and he arrived home a few hours ago. It’s unfortunate that he missed some appointments this morning and I sincerely apologize to his patients.

“I will be overseeing an investigation into how we let this atrocity occur and I promise our guests that any necessary action will be taken.

“I hope that you forgive us.”

- Koty Yell, CEO, United

Just a five-minute draft of my job application for Oscar Munoz’ position as CEO of United.

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