Practical Tips for Frozen Shoulder
If you have frozen shoulder or an injury and think you can “power through” it… oh, friend.
Frozen shoulder is a misnomer. The truth is, it’s deceivingly and excruciatingly painful. Here are some things that help, that I’ve personally tried and tested.
Game-Changing Gear and Environment Updates
- Build pillow forts. In your bed, in the car, on your couch and in your reading area. Surround yourself with pillows, fuzzy blankets and all the soft things.
2. Use this neck and shoulder heating & cooling pad.
3. Dose up on ashwaganda, rhodiola and calcium to help relax, stay calm and sleep.
4. Get Goddesses Never Age. Read and do the exercises in Chapter 5, by Dr. Christiane Northrup, where she details her personal experience with frozen shoulder (information also applicable to other injuries).
5. Bring on your inner Mrs. Roper and invest in a few different (read: kaftan-y) clothing items. You will be way more comfy in a flowy wardrobe. Buy loose tops a size or two larger so you can get in and out of them with ease. Who wants to be trapped in their shirt?
Also, no one warned me about this, but my injured arm was about 1/2" larger and became hard and dense, like a softball, for a while.
You don’t have to spend a lot. I bought great things on ThredUp, an online store that upcycles clothes. You can search by brand, size, color, fabric and wear — new with tags to like new to gently used. Think cotton, soft, loose as a goose.
6. Wacoal Women’s Red Carpet Strapless Bra — like everything else during this period, straps hurt my shoulder. The solution? Don’t wear them. The engineering of this bra is on point: the rubber backing around the top and bottom locks in the moisture with your skin and keeps the garment in place.
7. Zip up sports bras. Easy to get in and out of. Genius.
8. Buy elastic waisted bottoms [shorts, joggers, sweatpants] a size larger to get in and out of them easier. I could not to leggings; zips & buttons were a challenge. Getting oversized joggers was a game-changer.
9. Clear Minds Hypnotherapy — for sleep and any pain or injury-related PTSD. It will change your life.
10. Roller ball. Ten to 15 minutes a pop keeps the blood flowing.
11. Write affirmations.
12. False eyelashes. Seriously. Give yourself a treat, people.
Show notes:
My sister helped me clean out and re-arrange my closet to have more space, so I could use my one working shoulder/arm to move my hangers around, pick out clothes and put them back.
We also re-arranged things to have lightest things up top in kitchen and closet. Everything else went to counter height, which was as high as I could lift my arm in the beginning.
I changed my goals, work, and movement to rest. Rest, rest, rest. It was hard. I am not a good at resting!! Every part of my day was dedicated to being in the least amount of pain as possible.
Washing my hair was an Olympic sport. I had to rest after putting on deodorant and getting dressed. Even sitting in my beautiful Herman Miller office chair was too painful. Instead, it was about propping up with pillows and once I got the go-ahead for PT, going to PT. Then heat, ice, rest and repeat.
Early on, my wonderful coach asked me what if I would just focus on recovering (i.e., not work) until I was better? My initial response: no. No way. Not possible. I think I was in long denial that “frozen” shoulder was an actual injury.
Cut to: me just resting and focusing on recovery for several months.
I played online Scrabble, Wordle and Quordle so my brain wouldn’t turn to mush.
Things I could not do
*if you’re reading this for a loved one, they probably can’t do them either and may or may not tell you
Years ago, I my mom broke her arm while doing her “helicopter stunt.” She mentioned being in pain now and then, but I’m embarrassed to say that the depth of it never registered.
It’s hard and awkward and uncomfortable to say how painful this was.
Things I realized I took for granted:
Holding keys in my hand
Walking further than from house to car
Riding in a car
Cutting an avocado or any fruit or vegetable
Washing or styling my hair
Walking at KP speed
Putting on a bra or swimming suit
Wearing anything that fit
Putting a stack of plates into an upper cupboard
Opening a car door
Driving
Reading in bed
Being creative
Critical thinking at doctor’s office(s)
Decision making
Lying down in bed
I craved:
Clarity.
Answers.
A plan.
Doctors and offices who returned messages on the first call. Or even second. Third, also, would’ve been appreciated.
Soft things like slippers and blankets and pillows and cotton clothes.
Distraction: Focusing on work.
Carbs!!!!!! For the love of all things good and holy: CARBS. Like empanadas.
Still carbs. Namely, chocolate chip cookies.
Small kindnesses. Not pity. Kindness.
Things I did that really helped:
Stopped everything non-essential and focused on my health.
Marie Kondo-ed my closet.
Slowed my roll.
Changed my goals + expectations.
Focused on cultivating a resilient mindset.
Sat with it. Acknowledged my frustration. Also acknowledged my blessings. Re-assessed.
Tried everything. It’s been said if you’re going through hell, keep going. I agree with this. Pause, rest, take a break, but keep freaking going.
Focused on quality sleep.
Switched to an aggressively anti-inflammatory diet. Less booze and fried foods. More papaya and broccoli.
Is there a magic bullet? What was the major turning point?
No. It took all the things. And all the resilience and inner steel I could conjure. I expect it will take different things as I continue to recover.
A major turning point for me was seven months in. I was miserable. And there was no meaningful improvement in sight.
I was doing PT. I changed my diet to anti-inflammatory. I rested. I even took valium for a short while to get decent sleep. I tried acupuncture, hypnotherapy, researched surgery. I was not making headway, and I. Was. Miserable.
I asked myself, “what is ONE thing that would bring me joy? Even a little?”
I sat with that for a while. And the answer that came to me was going back to writing movies. It was odd that it was work, and sitting in a chair, a position at the time which was painful, but that’s what my soul craved.
So I signed up for two writing groups, bought a 10-pack of screenwriting career coaching sessions and began my writing practice again. Slowly.
Before I knew it, I was LOVING it, and the pain, amazingly, quietly, slowly and without fanfare, dissipated. About two months later, I could take gentle walks. Carry my keys and water bottle and laundry. I could sit at my desk for a little bit and write, then go back to the pillow fort.
I could do things. The turning point was doing the one thing that brought me joy: writing movies.
Best things people did:
· Loaned me equipment: the white faux fur hot water bottle, sling, roller ball. (thank you Sandy, Rich and Deidra!)
· Tell positive stories of people they knew who had this and are now swimming again. (thank you to so many!)
· Gave me valium. (thank you friends who shall remain anonymous!)
· Marie Kondo’d my closet to make it easier to operate one-handed. (thank you, Jill!)
· Generously offered rides and help making appointments in medical Spanish. (thank you, Darrin!)
· Came with me on appointments, demanded the doctors address me when speaking, and sourced empanadas + chocolate cookies. (thank you, Darrin!)
· Cut my fruit & veggies. (thank you, Luka!)
· Carried my laundry to the washing machine but let me do it!! (thank you, Vilma!)
· Planned a girls trip and a million other little things (thanks, Mom!)
· Offered encouragement. (thank you all!)
· Offered resources & information without an agenda. (thank you to so many!)
Worst things people did:
I don’t want to say negative things, but that’s part of a problem remaining a problem, so here goes. For context: during this time, I’d tape a “big blue X” on my shoulder in painter’s tape, point to it and say, “I’ll hug you from the other side.”
· Tapped / touched my hurt shoulder, even with the big X on it!! HELLO.
· Failed to answer phone calls, messages. (Doctors + ortho surgeons, I’m looking at you.)
· People who pushed boundaries on time, energy commitments.
· Having the movie Dam Sharks play in the waiting room of my first ortho appointment was a little more than I, and others, could take that day. *available for orthopedic surgeon patient journey consulting gigs.
A PSA + Rant on Stranger Things
Yes, it got even more strange than Dam Sharks in the orthopedic surgeon’s office! Friends and people who’d whack my hurt shoulder for emphasis while talking, and HURT ME MORE.
If you happen to do this to someone who’s injured, don’t THEN go into a long drawn-out drama-fest about how bad YOU feel. Just. Stop.
Instead, take a pause and think about what YOU need to do to stop your own destructive-to-me behavior, and tell me THAT. For example, “I apologize. I’m going to sit on my hand while I’m with you so I don’t do that again.” Or…
“I’m so sorry, I’m going to tangle my arm in this sleeve so I am physically restrained from doing that again.” Or…
“I’m sorry for hurting you worse than you were already hurting. I’m going to move over here AND put my hand in my pocket so I don’t do that again.”
Literally, you would not believe how many people freaking HIT my injured shoulder! My friends with shoulder injuries said the same: it happens ALL. THE. TIME. And they couldn’t believe it either. So… this is my PSA / Rant.
Don’t tell us you’re sorry and how devastated you are about your actions. FREAKING STOP WHACKING US IN THE SHOULDER.
You’re not the Sopranos and neither are we. End PSA.
The Reboot
After all this dreck, I needed a reboot. A real-life, whole-life, dramatic turnaround, epic comeback kind of reboot. My goals changed. My abilities changed. My pace changed. It wasn’t until I came to the realization that recovering was the number one thing I needed to do, that I was able to laser focus, find certainty and tap into my reserves of inner steel.
It seems obvious now, but it wasn’t then. I thought I could multi-task. Keep all the balls in the air. Maintain status quo. Do all the things I used to do. Ha ha. Nope. It wasn’t until I put my shoulder recovery front and center, that everything re-aligned.
Oddly, once I did that, I had the capacity to do much more: write (and comedy, even!), take care of myself, move my arm more, see actual changes, and improve. And once I did THAT, I knew I was on my way.
Whereever this finds you today, hang in there. Maybe not from a helicopter. Or maybe ABSOLUTELY from a helicopter. You do you. See you soon.
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