Politics in Sports
Antony Evans

I think that you have a good idea for what you want to write about, but so far you have not made an argument. You talk about sports and politics separately except in your intro and conclusion paragraphs. I think if you form a thesis about what you want your argument to be that will greatly help you plan what you want to write more. I also think it could be beneficial if you narrow your focus. The project is supposed to be on a media artifact, so maybe you could pick to analyze the ESPN Twitter page and if your are interested in politics still you could look to see if there is an influence of politics on their tweets. Try looking for academic sources as well and don’t forget to include two of the four aspects that we have to include in the paper. Also when you use quotes, don’t forget to cite your sources. I do think that some of what you have written so far could be used in your final paper. I like in the beginning how you mention sports in politics are intertwined, this can be a good introduction from your argument if you don’t break away from it then. You also do a good job of providing information on what politics are, but see if you can get to something more specific on politics in sports because the general information does not support your argument. I think another strong point of your paper is when you use an example in the beginning, to make it stronger I would try going into more detail on how it has caused controversy or why politics have caused controversy.

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