A Blissful State

Kelsey Philippe
Aug 23, 2017 · 4 min read

I feel as if I live my life in a fast paced constantly stressed speed. Most days the morning come too quick, the sunlight seems too bright, and the trains blare their horns too loudly. By the time I’ve gotten to school, it’s all ready been too long of a day. The classes seems to roll by, we sit down, accumulate information, sometimes for knowledge, mostly for adequate test grades. It feels like there’s so much pressure. You must be the best, do your best. Assignments come flying at you and all you want to do is relax. But as one finishes another is assigned. Life. It’s stressful. But school isn’t the end of it, after school brings with it club participation, work, studying. A never ending cycle of monotony. And yet people keep bustling, moving to the rhythm of their own drum. They just keep on keeping on.

So how does one feel bliss and a sense of disconnection from the world. Here’s the thing though, this assignment is about seeing the world and taking it in, sometimes it all comes too fast, I feel that for me I am hyper aware, I over experience everything, it’s too much to process and too much at once.

Thoughts, memories, connections and emotions wash together and pound against the shores that reside within my mind. High tide never ends and the water washes against the rocks slowly breaking it away, into pieces, maybe it’s too much, maybe this is how life is supposed to be.

“We are just specks floating aimlessly through the universe with no particular place that we are destined to be”

My strong emotions are every single one. So maybe it’s time to reflect on the subtle ones, the calm ones, the moments at which the day begins to end and sun settles over the horizons. The time slows down, the lights dull and the noise level decreases. When you need to take a step back, a breath of fresh air, just one moment to truly think about how we are just specks floating aimlessly through the universe with no particular place that we are destined to be. So where do you find this, this sense of isolation and belonging at the same time?

Opening the car doors the same words are always exchanged. “Good morning, how are you” and “wow, your car still smells so nice” these words are habitual and forgiving and at that moment I know there is a sense of freedom, isolation and friendship in the air. Where we’re going is no ones particular business. I shut the door and we drive. The stereo is set at a volume of 12, background noise, soft enough to speak over. There are two cup holders in the center counsel, and while no drinks ever occupy them, the first stores your phone and wallet, and I use the the sliding armrest so the other is rendered useless.

You thought you could clean your sideview mirrors using your freshly licked thumb but all you’ve done is smeared it. The next day you tried alcohol wipes but all you’ve been left with is streaks. Maybe this is a metaphor for life. Sometimes you try to fix a problem, but all you do is make it worse. Or maybe it’s symbolic of not looking back on the bad things in life, not worrying about the things that might strike your blind spot and catch you off guard. Or maybe, it’s symbolic of nothing, a dirty mirror is just a dirty mirror that hinders your view and is waiting to be fixed.

The car is not old, but used. There’s been bumps and scratches. It’s been keyed, you’ve hit the cinder block at the end of a parking spot, and your mom has tapped you in the rear. Like life we all go through some shit but we still function through our days, keep running until our battery burns out and we need a jumpstart.

“The words we whisper surround us and escape through the cracked window, swept away by the evening breeze. Lost within the the crisp leaves and blending harmoniously with the hoots of owls and a metallic wind chime.”

The drive is over and we park. The day has ended and the sun is setting. We crack the windows and shut off the car. A sigh of relief is let out. You look at me and smile, your hand rests on my knee and with your deep brown eyes you look at me. It feels like a soul piercing glance. When you look at me I feel understood. The world slows down. It’s never too bright or too early with you. The light of the setting sun beems across your face. You pull you hand back onto your own lap and we talk between the mouthfuls of frozen custard, it’s delicious. Every second feels like a minute. Every minute like an hour. Every phrase we exchange fills the air. The words we whisper surround us and escape through the cracked window, swept away by the evening breeze. Lost within the the crisp leaves and blending harmoniously with the hoots of owls and a metallic wind chime.

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