If we don’t know what we want, it’s because we lost touch on much simpler questions. And the solution isn’t to force, or brainstorm, or “just take action,” or look to others. It’s also not avoiding our feelings— anxiety or sadness, withdrawal or attachment — or dumping them on other people, but rather to address our needs. And if we don’t “know” what our needs are, our job is to sit quietly with ourselves, be present and aware, and rebuild from bottom, with whatever is handed to us. Only in this way will we eventually (I trust) understand “what we want” in all things.