RC social rules
The other day I tweeted about the Recurse Center’s “Social Rules,” making a point lightly about how great they’d be in any kind of social situation.
This is a small piece of paper, but I keep coming back to it anytime I read the Internet for about 30 minutes.
An extremely common refrain from (mostly well-off white-male) people is that “PC culture is too hard these days.” There are too many rules, they lament sorrowfully, everything I say is wrong and I don’t know what to do 😭.
The problem with the liberal busybodying is not that it passes any judgments on individual behavior, but that the judgments have become too numerous, too specific, and too frequently changing. Following all the rules has become exhausting. — That dumb hamburger article
RC’s social rules are so great because they’re not about what constitutes racism or bullying, they’re about how to handle the situation of an ignorant remark. The RC staff did a very cute roleplay on our first day, demonstrating saying a careless thing, getting called out, and apologizing.
Yes, we are all going to fuck up sometimes when we are talking about things we don’t know much about, such as another person’s experience of America. (I don’t know why we expect this to be something that comes easily, without education. We don’t think that we can talk knowledgeably about thermodynamics, say, or Aristotle’s ethics until we’ve read quite a lot.) There are two things that many have pointed out for when we feel rly bad but we don’t know what to do 😭:
- Learn more. There are plenty of people on twitter who aren’t yet tired of explaining to you patiently and compassionately what you’re failing to consider. (There are also people who are tired of it. Don’t make it their job to educate you if they don’t feel like it.)
2. Say sorry (sincerely, in a manner commensurate for the offense) and move on. Without arguing, without getting defensive.
That’s pretty much it.
Btw, you should apply to Recurse Center if you like to code & can spare the time.
