Georgia, I’m so sorry to hear about your poor daughter-in-law and grandchildren. This must hurt you so terribly as well.
I’m thankful for her that she has a support system to help her get through this (do you?), that it gives her the opportunity to get back on her feet. She’s got a rough road ahead of her, even after everything she’s had to already cope with.
I hope you will be able to stay in close contact with each other, and your grandbabies, if not in person then over the phone or internet.
Actually, this whole thing must just wear you the fuck out. So don’t forget to just put your feet up, and linger over a nice hot cup of tea, as often and for as long as necessary to keep your life-force meter well-charged! ☺
You know, your story made me think too that there are people out there that would criticize your DIL for going back to her husband after his insane behavior.
But if truth were acknowledged very few criticizers would not hesitate to have done the same if their own circumstances were shaped particularly for them.
(We like to ignore the fact that there are areas wherein we are strong and another is weak, but the reverse is just as true.)
As human beings we crave, sometimes to our own detriment, to believe in each other, yearn to hope, even when we shouldn’t. We tend to idealize our idealizations.
We seem to have a programmed predilection need to believe things that aren’t true; thinking if we put off facing the truth, we can somehow force reality to conform to the mental paradigm we’ve created and hoped for in our minds or hearts. Postponing the truth will make it go away.
We are predisposed towards a predetermined inclination to refuse truth, fact and evidence in favor of our imagination. In general, collectively, throughout history, humans have a very long and steep learning curve.
But if it only took those two episodes (more or less) for your DIL to ‘get it’ and do what was necessary to move on, then she should be commended.
It’s a very hard thing, often times fraught with treacherous steps, to find your footing under a forced course correction in life.
Too many people will stay in a bad situation because they do not have the inner resolve, or worse, blindly refuse, to move with changes that seem too frightening and new.
It’s hard to do what must be done. There’s just no getting around that fact.
We are, every one, if nothing else, creatures of habit.
So it is to our credit when we face, (especially those who are alone and have no support system) the barren and often bleak landscape of the unknown change.
For those that do have a support system, recognize those that are there for you, and be thankful and grateful.
We are, each and every one, going through this experience called life. It’s a difficult venture in the best of times, ever changing, never constant, in many ways and times brutal.
So when those moments of Joy, Providence, Kindness, or Good Fortune assert themselves onto/into the landscape of your life’s journey, make sure to take a mental photograph and give a moment of time to silent gratitude and appreciation.
Those times, for most, do not last long. But at the end of our time of life, those special unique moments are the lights that make up the fabric of our lives .
Our lives are extremely short. So make them count. But do it in a way that is most honorable and respectable.
What you take with you is everything you leave behind.
“The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself.”
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”