I’m sorry about the other responses you’ve received.
They make me feel like I live in a foreign country when I witness cavalier, careless and generally disconnected attitudes, like ‘I’m not ‘one of them’’.
Except that these out-of-touch comments are coming from people who are my fellow countrymen.
The sensations which result from, “What? Am I my brother’s keeper?”, is becoming more and more prevalent with every generation.
In its scope, and magnitude of what it spells for humanity’s future, it is becoming frightening and, really, terrifying.
It’s as if with every new generation human beings are becoming less and less connected to each other, as well as to themselves. We are becoming a species mired in personality disorders.
Fwiw, I feel your pain, and understand the constant and abiding sensation of watching over your shoulder. You’ve written eloquently and articulately. Thank you for that.
(While I’m sure you have your share of advice and opinions you must bear, I will nevertheless add my two cents worth. Check out EMDR therapy. It’s the ONLY form of treatment wherein people suffering from PTSD have actually achieved progress from their traumas. Of course the therapist is a major part of this equation. That relationship must fit first.)
I wish you well, and hope every good thing and kindness for you too.