first romance ; 3 AM
“I never understood why Mama told me never to fall in love too fast. I wanted to love someone. I was so eager to fall in love. However, I never realised the scars and trauma which came along with the first break up with the wrong man. This is my version of the first romance ; 3 AM”
3 AM
WHEN MINDS ARE WILDEST
AND TEARS ARE ENDLESS
Meaningless Words
Situational Depression
Perpetuating Heart Ache
Recurrent, Unconsciously
The Habitual Heartbreak
The Habitual Flashback
31 March, 12.00am
The empty words you left in my head.
Empty promises with meaningless words
You whispered words of love yet portrayed actions of irony
Those were the promises I clutched so dearly
To my heart
Ways to End the Habitual Heartbreaks
Negative Reinforcements
Positive Reinforcements
Negative Punishments
Positive Punishments
Loss of Serotonin
16 April, 05.45 pm
I guess I had always been waiting
For the perfect opportunity
To denounce the love we had.
I thought, “I could put an end to the pain.”
But it was a chronic, persisting misery
Of cravings, needing the physical affection you gave
Stage of Denial
Lack of Acceptance
Of the Misery
She placed herself under
To be without you
Lost
15 May, 11.59 pm
I sat by the place
You last whispered words of love.
When did start losing everything
When did I fell out of love
When did I start losing the persona I fell for
Relapse Prevention Model
High Risk Situation with those tempting lips and warm hands of yours
Coping Ability but lack of self-control to be without you
The Abstinence Violation Effect where the guilt I felt when I held you once more
Living in the Past
3 February, 01.05 am
The first time you held my hands,
Kissed my head,
And the first kiss.
21 June, 09.12pm
The last time you held me in your arms,
the moment I realized it wasn’t the same anymore.
You weren’t the man I love anymore.
3AM
LIVING IN THIS NIGHTMARE
“DON’T GO TO SLEEP”
BECAUSE THAT’S WHEN I’LL STOP SEEING YOU IN MY HEAD.
