Too often we think “love” has to be something that punches us in the gut, but that’s not the case.
We think it has to be intense, with wild ups and downs — and we’re willing to take the “downs” just to get the “ups.”
We think it’s great to “fall” in love; to lose control.
We revere the feeling of recklessness; of early infatuation.
We let ourselves get yanked all over the place and chalk it all up as “passion.”
“Boring” is better than “impassioned.”
Consistency is king.
Think of anything. Think of weight loss or net worth or anything else easily described by the saying “slowly, and then all at once.” That’s good love.
Great relationships are built day by day. They are woven into the “white space” of life.
Real, healthy love is quiet
It is calm, solid and stable, not flighty or fickle.
As Samantha Irby wrote,
“Real love… it’s not a game you don’t understand the rules of, or a test you never got the materials to study for. It never leaves you wondering… what you couldpossibly do to make it come home and stay there. It’s fucking boring, dude. I don’t walk around mired in uneasiness, waiting for the other shoe to drop… This feels safe and steadfast and predictable and secure. It’s boring as shit. And it’s easily the best thing I’ve ever felt.”
Good love is just the everyday — every day.