I really don’t know why some women struggle so much with the “marriage material” thing, stressing out and shit over getting a ring; being the type men want to marry.
People, overall, are not that complex, and that certainly includes men.
Getting someone to want to marry you is the easy part. All of my boyfriends have wanted to marry me. Men I just met jokingly propose. I’ve still got a backup — and a backup for my backup — but mostly because the idea of marriage just ain’t that hard. (The hard part is the actual grind of a relationship — making it work.)
Here’s the incredibly easy model for being marriage material:
#1 — Be Attractive.
You may not want to hear it, but this shit is true for like 99% of people. It may not be first on their list (though sadly it often is), but either way it’s usually up there.
The good news is that you don’t need to be a 10. The better news is that there’s not even a singular, linear idea of “attractive” anyway. One person’s 4 is another’s 8. Others fall for their 6 but over time he or she grows into an 8 anyway.
Some men like sexy. Some like cute. They all like beautiful. But one of these angles will work for you, so have at it.
Beyond that, shit’s not hard.
Attractive is not about fashion.
Included in this is a whole slew of specific trends 99% of dudes literally don’t care about. Why women worry so much about what they wear on dates truly astounds me — overall, dudes don’t give two shits.
Most men are looking at your figure and face, not your fashion.
Dudes I know like super simple, accessible shit that allows them to discern your figure. True for casual or feminine: a classic heel or Converse, a sundress or sweater… when in doubt: wear something simple and fitted, but still take-home-to-mom.
Because it’s women who over-complicate it. It’s not about being glammed-out feminine or dressing as different personas each day (at least not to all men.)
I barely wear makeup, cut my hair like once a year, and wear the same outfit (jeans and solid, fitted cotton tanks) like every day. And shit’s worked fine.
Attractive *is*, however, about health
People prefer healthy people. So take care of yourself / don’t let yourself go. Usually also means no excessive drinking, no smoking, don’t be obese.
#2 — Be sane.
Again, its pretty easy: be sane. Don’t be insane.
Be: consistent, easy going, logical, open-minded, honest, stable… self sufficient. Be self sufficient.
Don’t be: crazy, clingy, emotionally dependent, irrational, unstable; controlling; jealous; physically or emotionally abusive; closed-minded; materialistic; entitled; vengeful; lazy; preoccupied with babies and marriage; sexist; racist; cruel; overly-religious… clingy.
(Srsly. Do not be clingy.)
Aaand… that’s pretty much like 90% of it.
Between being attractive and sane, these are literally the 2 most important things to a surprisingly high number of people.
And if it comes to choosing between them on where to put your efforts, you’re almost always better off being a sane-as-fuck 7 than a crazy 9.
The other 10% varies by person
You can kinda just pick one (seriously, even one. You don’t even have to hit more than one if you’re still attractive and sane) — whatever works best for you. (Like, I can’t pull off “kind” for long, but maybe that works for you.)
Maybe others? But those three are honestly the ones I hear most.
Bonus points / extra credit
- Shares values. (You think this would be more important to people, and yet I don’t often hear it come up)
- Shares hobbies (points commensurate with rarity of hobby)
Men aren’t hard because people aren’t hard. Men want what we all want, which is a person who makes love worthwhile, and life a little better.